BY PRIYA ALI
Judgement is an interesting word. One definition of judgement is the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind. The thing about that, is that sometimes the mind forming the opinion, estimate, notion or conclusion can be skewed, flawed, jaded or biased.
We speak of good judgement and bad judgement, generally referring to the actions we take and the choices we make. Judgement of others however, is something very different. It’s something that we are all subject to on a daily basis and based on anything from the clothes we wear, our possessions, our body types, our social media pages and even rumours.
Judgement is based on your opinion rather than fact. It involves us using our own personal belief system and experiences to evaluate how others act and choose. We all know what it feels like to be wrongly judged by someone.
One day upon dropping my children to preschool, I encountered another mother who was attractively dressed in a short skirt on her way to work. That particular morning, I had thrown my hair in a ponytail and put on a pair of jeans. Upon seeing the other mother, I recall thinking to myself, “Look at how’s she’s dressed. I wonder what kind of work she does dressed like that?” Even though there was no answer to the question, there was definitely judgement present as I labeled her as promiscuous.
When I returned to my car, I questioned myself as to why I judged her that way. It was totally unfounded and absurd. I realized that it was because of how I looked that morning and that I did not take the time and invest effort into my appearance. As such, in order to justify my self-perceived shortcomings, I needed to judge this other mom for taking care of herself in the way that I didn’t that day. After leaving the school, I returned home, back into the shower and into an outfit that made me feel like a million bucks. My outfit may have been deemed sexy as well, although I did not see myself in the same light I saw the other mother in earlier. Truth be told, I no longer saw her that way either.
Whether it be through the Law of Attraction or my spiritual path, I began to notice any time I judged someone I would find myself in a similar situation in order to understand what that person went through and what it was like to be in that particular situation. I would then start to see more and more clients in my office with those same situations, my personal experience then allowed me to guide them. I quickly learned to stop judging so as not to continue having to experience similar situations I had judged.
It is very easy to comment on something that we have not or are not experiencing and cast judgement. I imagine you wouldn’t want to be judged either, although sometimes we judge ourselves more harshly than others. The key is to practice self-acceptance and the acceptance of others.