BY SIMONE SMITH
So you are at a point in your life where things have become pretty routine: you get up, follow a morning routine, work, spend money, pay bills, eat, sleep and repeat. Life is pretty good; it could be better, but everyone’s life could be better. Day in and day out, for many of us, it is always the same thing. The unfortunate thing is that time is always ticking; the days continue to move forward and there is always that one thing that you want to do, yet you have not done it. We always have reasons too don’t we; I have to pay off these bills, I have to focus on my family right now, I have to focus on myself right now. It is no wonder that many of us have to make a bucket list; a list that forces us to do all those things that we really want to do before we leave this physical world. Many of us will not get the opportunity to complete our bucket list; I know! It is a very depressing thought. Let’s make a little bit of a switch to the tone of this article; what if I told you who are reading this that I can help you get through your individual bucket lists? It is easy; are you ready; start living.
You are going to do one of two things at this point: stop reading, or think about what was just written. Start living? I am living, I am sure you are saying to yourself. Are you really living? Or are you hiding behind all of these reasons not to live. For the next couple of months, I am going to work with everyone who has chosen to think about what was written. I will warn you, this is going to be a difficult transition. It is going to mean that you have to give up a lot of your routine, this is very hard. For those who have continued to read, I congratulate you for your bravery, and I promise that you are about to do something that will change your life for the better.
The best place is to start exactly where you are. One of the reasons why you have not been able to live is because you are stuck in whom you are. This person that you have become is a mixture of bad experiences, good experiences, mistakes, failures, successes, great achievements, all the while there is still so much that you want to do for yourself or for your family. There are many ways that you can become stuck. I am going to outline six of the main reasons in the next few articles. The majority of my research was retrieved from a seminar that was presented at the Summer Institute, 2013 Lecture 5: The Double Vision Strategy for Becoming Unstuck, presented by Dr. Paul T. P. Wong, a legend of his time and one of the main contributors to Meaning Therapy and Positive Psychology. I want to take this time to acknowledge his work. The majority of my philosophical views are derived from his research and writings.
So, let’s get back to the reasons for getting stuck. Reason number one is having a self-defeating attitude. This attitude is present when you have thoughts or behavior that effect a person’s motivation and personal growth. This includes: being shy, being overly critical of others, getting inappropriately angry, perfectionism, having a negative self-concept and being defensive. This type of behavior has a negative impact on your social environment, friends and family begin to notice this behavior and no one wants to be around Debbie Downer. Sometimes you may not even realize that you are acting this way. All you know is that things are getting harder for you and are beginning to feel lonely.
How are you doing? I am checking in because at this point, you might be entering into a denial period. This does not apply to you at all, you are not doing any of these things. I get it! I remind you that I said this was going to be difficult. We are going to work through this denial together. Understand that you are human first. All of your achievements, successes, failures and defeats have brought you to this very point. You are learning, regardless of your age, understanding that you are not always in control of you is not easy to swallow. I advise the readers to take some time and think about some of the ways that you might be defeating yourself. Do this in your own time. You have two weeks actually, because the next issue will begin digging deeper, opening up more. This will be the difficult part. For those who are ready, I know you can do this. See you in a couple weeks.