BY: KEZIA ROYER-BURKETT
Letter from a reader from the last article on situationships.
Hey, I’m a first-time reader of your column and I’m so happy I picked up the paper this week. This is eye opening and as a matter of fact, I knew something was wrong with them but didn’t know what they were. These “situationships” I’ve been in for years was all they were now that your article has shed light on it. I’m very grateful that you saw this in your own life and decided to share it with your readers. Thanks a million, no more “situationships” for me I’m so tired of them. I always ended up getting used, abused and refused especially financially, sexually and emotionally and not to mention how much time I’ve wasted on all those sick, inconsiderate losers. Thanks again. Dian, Toronto.
Television shows, commercials, social media, movies are some of the avenues digital media has a significant influence on society and specifically romantic relationships. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want fairytale love, but I do want a love like soca and reggae songs. I’ve long gotten over the fact that Disney movies version of love is a fantasy based version of what love looks like. I’ve even gotten over the fact that my love life will never look like love on Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Queen Sugar, Big Bang Theory or other television drama where love and relationships are displayed. I understand that television dramas are always meant to have some resolution within a segmented time frame of either thirty to sixty minutes. If not the resolution can be found sometime within the twelve weeks that the show airs during its season. Unfortunately, a lot of real romantic issues cannot be resolved with thirty to sixty minutes or even twelve weeks.
So. I’ve come to an understanding that anything I see on television or in movies is not a realistic representation of love; but how about soca and reggae songs. Every time I listen to certain soca and reggae songs I think I want this kind of love, I want a man to love me like this. For example, Machel Montano in his new song Fast Wine he says “Baby…I have travelled through the stars and many moons to find you. I’ll travel a million miles just to look upon your smile… Baby, I see you as a Queen, A love that’s made for me, baby, when you put on your crown, I kneel down to the ground, girl.” All of the things I would love for a man to profess and tell me. And the reggae artist Tarrus Riley is very romantic himself. He has many songs professing his love, commitment, and respect for women. Tarrus Riley’s song Superman he says “I will be there when you need me, I will be there when you cry baby; I will be there when you need someone to tell you that you’re beautiful baby. I’m your lover till the sky turn gray girl ‘Cause you’re beautiful baby.” A man is promising to always be there for his women even in hard times. This is the kind of love I think any woman would want. So, I’m wondering if the representation of love in soca and reggae songs is another example of unrealistic depictions of love just like in Disney movies and television shows?
Infamous reggae artist Chronixx’s song Majesty he calls the women he loves a Queen, tells her that she deserves the crown upon her head and compares her to other great Nubian Queens like Sheba and Nefertiti. It has become a trend to refer to Black women as Queens as a form of endearment, but are men calling and treating women like Queens? Are women in return treating and respecting their men like Kings? And if yes, how can the average person be a part of this royal relationship experience?
I understand that no relationship is perfect, every relationship has it’s ups and downs as that is the Ying and Yang of life, but the respect these artists appear to have for women is impressive to see. I am happy to see these male feminist love and show respect to women through their artistry as pop culture, and other music genres have often promoted unhealthy, unrealistic representations of love and relationships. Now to find my own Canadian version of Machel, Tarrus or Chronnix…
Men e-mail me at Kezia@carib101.com and let me know how you treat your woman like a Queen and ladies email me and let me know how your man treats you like a Queen, and you treat him like a King in return. Also feel free to send in any questions, comments or stories you may have about love and relationships. Love and Light, Kezia.