BY: KEZIA-ROYER BURKETT
Online dating is all the craze nowadays but I just can’t seem to wrap my head around meeting someone online. Plenty of people have successful relationship stories from meeting their significant other online, but I just don’t see myself having that same success. I have tried free sites like OkCupid, Plenty of Fish and even Christian Mingle and it was pretty much the same experience on all of the platforms. Many of my friends have said I need to pay for my accounts for online dating and register an account with companies like Match.com or E-Harmony to help weed out the “low life” or people that aren’t serious about dating. Apparently, if you are willing to drop almost two hundred dollars on a dating website membership, that indicates you are serious about dating and being in a serious relationship. But I can’t fathom paying for dating, paying a service provider to help me meet potential partners, with the possibilities of still having to weed through the losers and the guys who just aren’t my type and don’t understand the polite clues that I’m not interested. It’s not like these dating sites are going to connect me with Michael B. Jordan or the sexy Rasta Yogi I follow on Instagram or even my old tv crush Matt Babel.
Another new trend in dating aside from apps like Tinder or online dating is hiring a dating consultant; these dating “experts” will get to know you and link you with eligible bachelors in their network for a small fee. Kind of like a friend is hooking you up, but it’s a paid service like the Will Smith movie “Hitch.” I find dating websites and dating consultants to be so perception focused and not really about finding an authentic connection. Looks matter! But I don’t want to be choosing a man solely based on his appearances before I get to know him and decide if I want to date him and I DEFINITELY don’t want to be objectified by my looks through a dating platform; hence why my stays on them have been very short. I do want to find love and a serious relationship but I also want it to happen authentically. I always imagine the story I would tell about how I met my husband at our wedding or anniversary parties to be one of depth and old-school romance. Like we saw each other, struck up a conversation, we had each other laughing all night and engaged in the most intriguing, inspiring conversation. We talked until sunrise, and as the sun rose, we both secretly knew that this was a dawn of a new beautiful relationship and partnership. Girly? Yes! Unrealistic? Maybe! But it’s one of my fantasies of how I meet the man I spend the rest of this life with.
Growing up, I always thought I would get married by the age of 23/24 when I graduated University. Then buy a house with my husband, then at age 27/28 start our family and be done having kids by 35 the latest. I am now 32, turning 33, a single mother to a four-year-old son. My life is A LOT different than I had planned it in my naive childhood fantasies, but I am grateful for my life experiences and not getting married at age 23 or even 27. As much as I thought my life would have been better if my fantasies came true, I know if they did I wouldn’t be the woman I am today writing this article or even writing at all right now.
I am supposed to be meeting with a dating consultant in the near future and will also interview a relationship couples counselor to get a better grasp on my dating life and you know I will share all the nuggets of knowledge they give to me with my readers.
If you have any online dating stories you would like to share; please e-mail me at Kezia@carib101.com. I would love to hear about mishaps and success stories of online dating and be sure to name the dating platform you used, and I will share it through the column. Love and Light.