BY: SIMONE SMITH
I want you all to give yourselves some love this week. You may not be where you want to be, but guess what? I am going to continue to help you get to where you need to go. Life has a way of tossing hurdles in our way; our fears can consume us and sometimes we live so much in our heads that we are unable to move past where we are. This week I am going to write about something that we may not realize that we need. We all need someone to talk to. I know; you are going to say I have my best friend, or I have my mom, or I have my spouse. I am very happy that you have these support systems, but I question; is it enough?
What about those experiences in your life that you are not comfortable sharing with your support systems? Many of us walk around with secrets from our past that haunt our daily lives and are reflected in our behavior. This is why finding someone to speak to that is out of your comfort zone is so important. It is always wise to have someone who can listen objectively and does not feel the need to sugarcoat, or stroke your ego. Someone who is able to help you identify issues that you have kept suppressed that might involve your mother, father, friend or spouse. Identified sources are a psychologist, psychotherapist, counselor, or social worker.
I know that seeing some of these titles can put many of us on the defense. “I am not crazy. I don’t need to go and see a shrink! Why are you even bringing this up?” Well, let me answer it like this; visiting a psychologist was the beginning of my personal growth project. Yes, I went on a personal growth journey because I was unhappy with how my life had ended up. I was in a vicious circle that included deceiving myself, addiction, depression and destructive behavior. It was not until I made myself a project that I was able to break this cycle. It started with finding someone to talk to; I had to get out of my head. I had to find someone who would tell me the truth; tell me that I was screwing my own life up and that I was responsible for it.
I have an extensive psychological background, and one thing that I have learned is that there is a fear and stigma that exists around that word. I decided to go to my community as a Life Coach, and I was embraced immediately. I allow my clients to tell their story by creating an environment for sharing honestly and without judgment. I help them focus on significant concerns and high leverage issues; these are issues that will make a difference in their lives. I sit and listen to their specific experiences, identify hindering behaviors and encourage their need to feel.
What is a goal that I give most clients? I help them develop a preferred scenario; see a picture of a better future. I do this in three ways:
1: Construct a new scenario
This helps clients create a vision of a new state of affairs.
- Evaluate new scenario
This means establishing clear specific goals that can be translated into action
- Choosing goals and assuring commitment
I know how difficult it is to commit to change. Clients must be given incentives for commitment.
Toronto, it is time to take control of your reality. We all have pain in our past; trust me when I say this, I know. I also understand the need to be heard; it is time for you to step out of your fear. Find someone to talk to and watch the growth that will occur in your life.