Dangers that would become etched in my brain forever!

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

I have to admit; the drive over to the prison was a peaceful one. As we drove through Panama, I was introduced to the beauty of the country. What sucks is that I don’t think that I will ever go there again. There is too much trauma connected to that place, and to be honest, I am terrified that I would probably be harassed due to the fact that I was arrested there. Sucks!

I could see down into what looked like the city. It was a beautiful sight. I took the time to be in the moment. I find that strange because what I should have been doing was thinking about the fact that I would be spending my first night in prison. It was like God had found a way to distract me with the beauty of nature, take my mind of the impending dangers that would become etched in my brain forever.

I knew that I was in for some serious lesson learning, and I was about to find out how much. The drive was about an hour long. Finally, we pulled up to a building with thick, grey walls. At the top was a series of barbed wire. The car stopped, and I stared at the gates. It was as if the barbed wire was mocking me, reminding me of my stupidity. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I focused on my breathing, and thought to myself, “God has brought me this far. He is not going to leave me now.”

Officer Rodriquez got out of the van and began to speak to the men who were walking towards the van. The air was hotter, suffocating. Was it all in my head? It probably was. I leaned back and watched the dialogue happening in front of me. I saw two women officers coming through the now open gate of the prison. The sight of them sent shivers down my spine. I looked past them into the prison, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was to come. All I saw was a courtyard with what looked like little homes.

The women walked right over to the van and ordered myself and the other young women to exit the van and follow them. As I was walking away, I glanced at Officer Rodriquez. He was looking at me, smiled, and waved. His smile gave me a spark of hope. I knew that it was the last time that I would ever see Officer Rodriguez, and in that moment, I thanked God for putting him in my life.

They led us to a tent, and once again, I had to go through the humiliating experience of stripping down to nothing and showing my private parts to strangers. Once that was done, we were escorted to one of the little homes that I had seen from the van. As I entered the home, I realized right away that they were offices. My suitcases had already been delivered, and I was instructed to stand in front of what belonged to me.

One by one, we were signed in and given instructions. I was one of the last to be called, and as I walked up, I saw the gentleman looking at me. I was a little unnerved by the smirk that I saw on his face. He began to ask me questions in broken English.

“Your name please,”
“My name is Simone Jennifer Smith.”

“Where are you from?”

“Toronto, Ontario, Canada.”

His line of questioning seemed weird to me. I am almost sure that they had my information, so I was unsure as to why he was going through this.

“Do you know why you are here?”

I bit my lip and looked at him. This was the first time that someone had actually asked me this question in English.

“No! Unfortunately, I do not speak Spanish, so I don’t know why I am here. All I know is that I was arrested at the airport and brought here.”

The man looked back at the woman who was sitting behind him. He said something in Spanish, and they laughed together. I began to feel uncomfortable. I was irritated that these two individuals seemed to be having a laugh at my expense. I was in my feelings, and I couldn’t do anything about it. As I stood there, I felt the woman’s taunting eyes looking at me over the counter.

This is the thing about realizing that you have lost your freedom; you can’t do anything about it.