Death and It’s Lessons

BY: KATHY MCDONALD 

One thing I know for sure is that if I was not advocating for the right of all children to get the education that they are legally entitled to; I would be advocating for victims of domestic violence. Especially children. The death of Riya Rajkumar shook me to the core. Probably because I have a ten-year-old daughter or probably because after getting the amber alert that she was found I sighed a deep sigh of relief, jumped for joy and then went to bed elated that she had been found. You may be wondering at this point, what does this have to do with education? Everything.

Not knowing anything surrounding the demise of this sweet little girl who always has a big bright smile in every picture that I came across, I have one overarching question. How could this have been prevented? How could we have done a better job at educating the family or society to ensure that little Riya would be enjoying the daily adventures of a typical girl from the Peel Region?

The first thing that comes to the minds of people is mental health. I find this perplexing in that in today’s climate we are quick to label every transgression as some sort of mental health issue. It may very well be mental health in this case but what if it’s not? Could it be that someone is simply a mean, wicked and heartless beast simply trying to hurt one human being by destroying another? What if we could teach people about the basic sanctity of life? What about teaching couples that they don’t own their spouses? Oh! and they can walk away. This may be devastating and losing your “soulmate” may hurt but at the end of the day, your “soulmate” is not an indentured servant that belongs to you.

As a society, we need to get back to the basics and we really need to take a hard look at simple things like bringing back civics to all schools and we need to start at an earlier age. Somewhere as a society, we have appeared to stray from the concept of being our brother’s keeper and in this multiculturalism experiment we have forgotten that we are our brother keepers regardless of place of birth. Could neighbours or friends have prevented this? Were there clues and signs that were missed or ignored?

I remember listening to Kamal Dhillon’s story and reading her book and she describes what she perceived as apathy towards her from neighbours. I vividly remember her stating that many of her neighbours would think she was snobbish because she never said hello to them while her “friendly and outgoing” husband would always socialize and say hi to the neighbours. Little did they know that if she dared to crack even the faintest smile, she would be dealt a severe, long and torturous punishment. As a society are we reaching out to our neighbours and friends?

When Riya’s father was committing this heinous act did anybody hear? Were her screams just dismissed as a parent-child conflict? I keep imagining her final moments. I am filled with such confounded sadness for a stranger I never knew just haunted by the confusion buzzing in her mind as her father is killing her. Would having skills in self-defence helped? What about lessons in karate? When people decide to separate should there be a mandatory psychological assessment of all parties to ensure that they won’t harm themselves or their children? I know that these questions may sound bizarre but as I desperately seek to understand how we can prevent such tragedies, I can’t help but think about the importance of education.

As I participate in the planning of the United Achievers’ Club, Celebrity Chef Men Who Cook event on March 2nd at Century Gardens at 6 pm I think of the role of education. Why? This event raises money for the William Osler Health System-Paediatric Department to aid in the care of patients living with Sickle Cell Disease. This disease affects the shape of your red blood cells which results in not enough oxygen being transported throughout the body. As a result a person with sickle cell anemia invariably suffers serious complications from extreme fatigue to heart failure, There is no known cure and patients simply have to try and manage the disease and the effects of flare-ups. Sickle Cell disease is more common in people of African descent and it is a hereditary disease. It is important for our community to educate themselves about this crippling disease.

Less than twenty-four hours of learning about Riya’s fate I got an email informing me of the death of a stalwart of the black community, Dr. Winston Isaac. Among his several varied accomplishments, I will always be thankful for his role in co-founding the Walnut Foundation. This organization is dedicated to black men’s health, the prostate and the importance of the PSA (Prostate Cancer Screening) test. I will soon be reaching the one-year anniversary of my uncle’s death. I am resolute in my belief that he would be here today if he understood the importance of self-care and the PSA test. So, journey with me as we try to educate ourselves to be our brothers and sister keepers as well as we keep our bodies and mind healthy. Walk Good! Belle Marché.