Forgiveness and Green Grass- the story of Christeena Mais

BY LEANNE BENN

It was December 2007and at just 15 years old, Christeena Mais started her journey to live a new life in Canada. With all her years growing up in a rural area of St Andrew Jamaica, Canada was unlike anything she was accustomed to on the island. It was meant to be a chance for opportunity and for positive change because you know the grass is always greener on the other side.

Mais left her mother and her main support system to go live in Canada with her father and three other siblings, already settled with her dad. It was a world in which Mais’s father was a single father raising four children in a homely apartment. This change could be the reason to blame but over the years, her father took out his frustrations and struggles in life on Mais. She remembers the day specifically, Mais was still in high school, attending the Cedarbrae Collegiate Institute and she had just been accepted into York University in Toronto. Excited with the news Mais excitedly told her father, only to be met with the least enthusiastic response and a declaration of “who will support you on this journey?” Mais ‘s father had different goals for her, he wanted her to work to contribute to the household and to sponsor her mother to come to Canada because the burden on him was too much. This burden manifested itself in dark and destructive ways through mental and verbal abuse. This emotional abuse was, unfortunately, something Mias was used to from the time she moved to Canada but while wanting to pursue her own dreams.

Mais left Jamaica for a reason because as a child her stepfather sexually abused her but now she found herself in a darker situation. It wasn’t long before Mais was kicked out of her father’s house at 18 and told to fend for herself. Determined to make her situation work, she took out student loans, received help from her pastor at church and received financial support from her mother and uncles back in Jamaica. “Overall I figured out a way to start going to university and the reason why he kicked me out the first time was that he wanted me to work and help him and that wasn’t my goal.”

Almost at the end of her four year degree, Mais, decided to give her family situation another chance and moved in with her father once again, to show her other siblings who had left, that maybe this time things will change and maybe this time their family could be kept whole, but this was not the case and once again Mais was kicked out and found herself in this horrifying tornado of moving from place to place while trying to complete her degree. At this stage, Mais decided she would never speak to her father again.

With all these things against her Mais never quit and graduated and received her B.A Honours degree in Law and Society. Mais was always the cheerful person, the one giving back and volunteering all the while thinking of her homeland and ways in which she could contribute to the Jamaican community.  Her friends would remark at her cheerful outlook on life but Mais always responded by saying “If I were to write a book, you wouldn’t believe half of the things that I’ve went through.” After saying this more than enough times, Mais actually made the decision to write a book and to share her experiences with everyone. This book was all about forgiveness and is entitled “Forgiveness Heals All Wounds”

“I had the idea of writing a book from the first time my dad kicked me out,” Mais remarked, she also said that forgiving those that hurt her was the only way to heal her wounds.

“Whatever I went through it helped to build me and give me strength as a woman, it taught me how to communicate properly with people and how to fend for myself.”

“After releasing the book, I’ve spoken to many women even younger and older that went through similar situations or even worse and I just wanted to share my journey, to those that are not talking about it.”

Ultimately it was a painful family situation that led Mais to talk to her father again and to forgive him in order to heal herself and to grow as a person. While the journey has been difficult, Mais always felt the support and love from her mother who is still back in Jamaica and from her husband whom she met in Canada. Mais is now a published author as of December 2018. There is really something to be said from that first December Mais arrived in Canada to now and looking back Mais would never change anything about her journey because she would never be the person she is today.

Forgiveness Heals All Wounds had it’s official book launch March 2019 back in Jamaica at a local bookstore, and it is also available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobel. Mais is looking to share her work and personal experiences here in Toronto with those who are willing to listen because sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.