My mommy is gone! Mom’s Angels do something special for children who have lost their parents

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

“I am so proud of you Cristina. You have a beautiful heart, and you are doing good work. It is good to see this. You could be out here twerking.”

I was speaking to Cristina Moonah, founder of Mom’s Angels. This powerful initiative was founded to support youth whose mothers have passed away.

The role of a parent is powerful, which is why the loss of one can be traumatic and long standing for an individual. According to the attachment theory, young children need to form a strong attachment to at least one primary caregiver. The role of this primary caregiver is to provide unconditional love and support that allows them to form necessary relationship skills as they mature.

What happens when a child loses one, or both parents before they have time to form this attachment? Not only do they have to deal with the grief and loss, it can also affect the kind of intimate relationships they form when they become adults. They may have to deal with prolonged grief, and can become vulnerable to long-term emotional problems due to their failure to resolve their sense of loss. Depression, anxiety, withdrawal, and difficulties in school are all manifestations of the early loss of a parent.

During my talk with Cristina, she was able to share her experience with me.

“My mom passed away when I was six from an aneurysm. I did as well as a six year old could. I adjusted well, and I truly believe it was because of my strong spiritual connection. It was when I reached my 20’s, that I realized how much I missed her.

I teach, and because of that, I am witness to many mother, daughter relationships. It was times like this when I really missed her. I have fantastic female role models, and I truly respect and love my aunt for all she has done for me, but it is not the same.

I started to meet women in my 20’s who had lost their mom as well. One day in class, I met a woman named Helen. We swapped stories, and she shared that she had lost her mother at nine years old. I felt an instant connection with her, and spoke with her after class. After learning each other’s story, we decided that we wanted to do something for young people who had lost their parents. “

Cristina and Helen are both very familiar with how it feels to lose a parent at a young age, and they knew that it was hard for the child to put into words exactly how they were feeling. Some wonder how they are going to make it through the rest of their lives without the parent.

On the outside, I am sure Cristina held it together. She would smile and hold her head high. She was a high achiever, and did not get caught up in the nonsense that many young women do. She took on the world and embraced life. She met new people and shared her story. She kept a smile on her face, even when she didn’t always want to. Things would be great until a memory would strike her. It became her mission to be of support to young people who had lost their parents.

“I know I have healed from my mom’s death, but I had to dig very deep. I had to go through therapy. I had to deal with all the feelings a six year old couldn’t do. I wanted to do a light-hearted event that was sensitive to the needs of children. I thought tree-planting was a gentle event.

I give so much respect to anyone who runs a charity. It took me a year to get things together. I was able to garner support from the One Million Trees Mississauga campaign. It was launched to help conserve and enhance the City’s open spaces and forested areas for future generations. I found out that residents, businesses, schools, homeowners, and community groups could get involved, so I reached out to them and we were able to get free trees for the initiative.”

October 3rd, 2020 started off cloudy, but by the time the small group got going, the clouds rolled away, and the day ended up being beautiful.

“It was a very spiritual experience,” Cristina tells me. “We had upbeat music, and we kept things light. It was a gentle way to grow community.”

Cristina started a GoFundMe page for Mom’s Angels with the goal of raising $1,274.00. They ended up raising $1,550.00.

“I didn’t touch that money for the event we had in October. I have put that money towards our Mother’s Day event 2021. We will be using it to purchase a commemorative bench that will go beside the trees that we planted this year.

It was such a wonderful day, and it was good to see young people sharing with each other. Topics like this are never easy, and it is always easier when you have someone to share your pain with.”