Once again, God had placed another angel in my life; reliving my past trauma

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

I heard the chatter and murmurs of the women before I even realized that I was awake. I forced open my eyes and saw women starting to roll up their mats. I didn’t move for a minute. I squeezed my eyes closed and hoped that when I opened them again, I would open them to familiar sights: my closet full of clothes, my dog, and my uncle’s paintings on the wall. The ever-increasing sounds in the background made it harder for my internal fantasy to play out.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. Most of the women had begun their rising ritual. I looked to my right, and I could see the line-up for the showers starting again. There were the sounds of pots and pans clanging in the kitchen. It was my first morning in prison. I realized that I would be learning everything on the fly.

“Ouch!” As I rolled off the mat, I felt a pain shoot up my right hip. I had to admit, the mat they had given me to sleep on was better than the paper I had slept on when I was in holding. I slowly rolled up my mat and went to place it where the others were. I noticed that more of the women were taking me in this morning. I think it was because in the light of day, they actually recognized that there was a newbie in their midst. I had no idea what they were thinking, but I knew what I was thinking. I wanted to disappear.

I went to the back room to find Andrea. When I got to her bunk, she was not there. “Are you looking for Andrea?” I heard a soft voice ask behind me. I turned around to see a beautiful, lighter skinned, woman with a gentle smile. She was looking at me curiously.

“Yes,” I replied. “I am looking for Andrea. Do you know where she is?”

“Andrea had to head off to work. I saw you yesterday and wanted to come and say hi to you. My name is Angie? You are Simone right?”

As she stretched out her hand to shake mine, I couldn’t deny the fact that I was thrilled to be speaking with someone else who spoke English.

“Yes! It is nice to meet you Angie. So, what is the morning ritual like around here?”

 “Well,” she began. “You are off to a good start. Did you put back your mat?”

I nodded my head. I was slowly taking Angie in. She seemed very nice. I noticed that she had short dreads, a round face, alluring round eyes, and full pouty lips. As she spoke, I wondered how such a beautiful girl had ended up here.

“So, if you have any questions, let me know okay.” I had missed everything that she had said. “Thanks Angie. I appreciate your help.”

“Go ahead and get dressed. You can use my bunk to change if you want to.” She pulled aside a sheer drape for the bunk directly across from Andrea’s. I wondered why I had not seen Angie last night, but I didn’t think that this was the time to ask questions.

I stood in the bathroom line, cleaned myself up, and went back to the bunk to get dressed. When I got there, Angie was sitting waiting for me.

“I can give you some privacy if you need. Andrea told me to check on you and keep you company until she came back. Yesterday I saw you standing around, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Where are you from Simone?”

“I am from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. How about you Angie?”

“Me! I am from Baltimore. I have been here for four years now. Hopefully getting out in two.”

As Angie began to tell me her story, I couldn’t help but think that once again, God had placed another angel in my life. Even in my despair, somehow I still seemed to be protected.