Opening of Canada’s first shelter for male victims of domestic abuse and their children

BY AMANDA WILLIAMS

Domestic violence occurs in all types of relationships despite age, race, gender, or sexual orientation. We often hear about women suffering from domestic violence and trauma, but what about the violence against our men?

In 2011, Justin Trottier, the Canadian Association for Equality (CAFE) CEO, spoke on how police officers ridiculed and mocked male victims when responding to 9-1-1 domestic calls. Officers would even charge the men on the scene despite evidence to the contrary. Toronto Caribbean Newspaper recently had the opportunity to speak to Justin, and he says that while things have improved, there is still work to do, and the goal is to get officers some training in and around domestic violence.

On their website, CAFE speaks about being a human’s rights group that advocates equality for all members of society. However, their focus is on men and boys because that issue receives much less attention than equal rights for women. Justin explained that, to some degree, the media is responsible for the lack of reporting.

“Men are suffering in silence, are trained to be stoical, drown their sorrow, smoke it out, shoot it up and wind up dead,” says Justin.

According to the Shelter Capacity Report in 2019 on the government of Canada’s website, almost half of all emergency shelters and beds in Canada are located in Ontario. There are also more shelters and beds for women than men across Canada; however, no shelters specifically support violence against men. So why are there hundreds of domestic shelters for women in Canada, funded by government and private donations, but only one in the entire country for men?

These numbers suggest that there needs to be more attention on men and how to prevent these situations from occurring. There are too many fathers without access to their children, which affects children; boys are more likely to drop out of school than girls, men are most likely to end up in jail, and are three times more likely to commit suicide than women.

CAFE started addressing such issues by establishing the Canadian Centre for Men & Families (CCMF) in 2014. Justin shares that the biggest obstacle in bringing the shelter to life was funding, as the organization did not receive financial support from the government. Through annual golf tournaments, go-fund-me, and private donors, the CCMF opened its first Canadian shelter for survivors of domestic abuse for men and their children in Toronto in April 2021. The organization’s mission is to be an open, inclusive, and safe space that focuses on the health and well-being of boys, men, fathers, and families who are victims of trauma and violence.

CCMF was modeled after the women’s shelters and provides emergency shelter for men and families for typically ninety days or less. The house is currently a temporary home to seven families and features four floors with six bedrooms, two kitchens, nine washrooms, and a private basement entrance. With over 3,000 square feet, the hub for the health and well-being of families offers a broad range of programs, including therapy and counselling, a men’s peer support group, legal assistance & resource centre, mindfulness meditation, fathering after separation or divorce, and monthly lectures with special guest speakers.

The advisory board for The Family Shelter for Men and Children consists of counsellors, social workers, professors, psychotherapists, nurses, police force members, those who have years of experience in domestic violence, sexual abuse, anti-racism, and anti-oppression. Other members have years of experience running similar agencies or shelters across North America. You can find further details regarding members of the advisory board on www.menandfamilies.org.

The CCMF requires beds, couches, desks, tables, chairs, kitchen items, and other furnishings and equipment. They are also looking for volunteers to assist with facility management and client intake. If you are able to contribute or donate, or volunteer please visit their website for more information.

It’s important to remember that everybody deserves to be heard, seen, supported, and protected regardless of how he or she identifies themselves or what their sexual orientation is. If we want to help boys and men heal and get the support they need, we need to provide space and allow them to be vulnerable enough to do so safely.