BY SIMONE J. SMITH
“No one is an island in this.”
It has been an interesting year. 2020 promised to be the start of a new decade, a time of hopes, dreams and opportunities. What 2020 turned out to be is a contradiction to all of our beliefs.
In my daily conversations with all levels of the public, the resounding sentiment is about the difficulties adapting to our new life changes. Everything has been thrown off, and for some, this has presented new challenges, which affects the individual as well as the family. All we can do during this time is learn how to be ourselves in this new world. This means addressing issues concerning our routines, our families, our mental well-being, and our work.
Routines
When this all began, a lot of people wanted to burst out the gate setting schedules for themselves, and their children. Everything scheduled, right down to their lunches. Of course, for many, this did not work out. Here are some concrete strategies that can be utilized to navigate your new world:
- Start and end your workday at the same time. Now, everyone’s workday is different, but staying as close to your familiar schedule as possible helps create a sense of normalcy and will help you get more work done. Trying to resort to a new routine may add more stress to your life.
- Make sure that everyone in your house is waking up at a reasonable hour. Brush your teeth, start with a good breakfast, and put some clothes on. Give your family a sense of what life is going to look like day-to-day.
- Set aside quality time. Take some time to focus on interacting with your children and put your responsibilities to the side. Let your children direct the play and praise them for their ideas. When you have to get back to work, stay nearby, and let them know you are nearby if they need you.
- Be mindful of the schedule you have set. It is easier to get your children to do homework if they know it is expected at a certain time. Surprising them with a request to do homework when they have settled in to play a video game will result in pushback that could be avoided.
- Practice what you preach. You can’t be telling your children to “Get off the phone,” or “Stop watching television so much,” if you are yourself spending excessive amounts of time on your phone or watching television.
Work
Although in ways the world has slowed down, business continues to move forward, and the majority of us are working from home. This presents challenges, especially if it is not what you are used to. How do you go about being productive, and even increasing your productivity?
- Find a place in your home that you associate with work; somewhere that puts your mind at rest. It could be a small desk, or the kitchen table, as long as it mentally prepares you to be productive.
- Create a space that is stimulating. Light a candle, keep a photo or vision board nearby, and make sure there is plenty of light. Make sure that you are comfortable and that your senses are stimulated.
- Dress up. You have to feel like you are going to work. Style your hair, brush your teeth, and get out of your pyjamas, which separates your sleep state from your wake state. Getting ready as you normally would for work helps put you in the mental state to be productive.
- Visually communicate. It is encouraged to communicate with your co-workers using video platforms. It allows you to observe facial expressions and offers connection. If you have younger ones, schedule calls over nap time or screen time. Although you might be tempted to close your door, this often triggers children and they will seek to connect with you, so stay present and available.
- Create a pandemic job description. Set new expectations with yourself, and discuss them with your boss, or your team. Unlike your former workspace, you may have children in the background, and they might make surprise cameos in your Zoom videos. Write your current job description, and then revise it with your new one, adding your new complexities.
- Don’t forget to take breaks. They are good for you mentally and physically. Get up and make a coffee. Plan your workout between projects, phone calls or meetings. Go for a walk. Avoid the trap of scrolling through social media. You know how easy it is to get caught up in that.
Mental Health
One of the most concerning issues during this time is the mental health of our community. How are some ways that we can address mental health, especially for those who might be in denial that they are experiencing these challenges?
- Stop pretending that there is nothing wrong. Statements like, “Everything is going to be fine,” actually stokes an anxious brain. It will prompt the need to continually seek that reassurance, which grows anxiety. Instead, try statements like, “We are doing the best we can,” or “We are trying to make things better for us right now. That is why we are doing what we are doing.”
- Avoid anxiety priming. If your child is already anxious, you as a parent must avoid pointing out all the dangers; “Stay away from that person. Did you wash your hands? Don’t touch the doorknob.” Yes, these things are true, but pointing them out only heightens anxiety.
- Keep an eye out for behaviour changes in yourself and your children. Changes in sleep, appetite, mood (feelings of frustration, anger, hopelessness, loss of pleasure), lack of motivation, increased substance use (marijuana, alcohol), are all behaviours that may indicate some mental health challenges. It is important as a parent to be aware that your children are watching to see how you handle stress, and they will pattern it.
It is important that we keep the dialogue going on how to adjust to our evolving situation. This is not easy but sharing positive information with each other will help us move from day to day.
