Who is running your mind?

For many of us across the Afro and Indo-Caribbean diaspora, thinking about how we think feels like a luxury we cannot afford. We have been conditioned by history and systemic pressure to stay in survival mode. We move through the world with a get it done spirit, but have you ever stopped to wonder if you are the one actually making the choices, or if a program written long before you were born is pulling the strings?

The hard truth is that our brains are not the single, unified “I” we think they are. Inside your skull, 90 billion neurons are working together to create an illusion that there is one person in charge. In reality, your brain is a meaning-maker machine that often decides what to do first and then creates a story to explain it to you later.

Interactive Reflection #1: The survival check-in

Think about the last time you snapped or reacted defensively in a stressful situation. Did you consciously choose that reaction, or did it happen before you could think? Write down that moment. This is your subconscious acting as your automatic control system.

Neuroscience shows that most of what happens in our brains, from regulating our heart rate to making complex social judgments, happens entirely outside of our conscious awareness. For a community that has sustained significant trauma, this is a heavy revelation.

Research into epigenetics (the study of how our environment changes our gene expression) reveals that trauma can be passed down through generations. In studies on mice, researchers found that when a parent was trained to fear a specific smell, their offspring were born with more receptors for that smell, fearing it without ever having experienced the original shock.

This means that the survival mode you feel today might be a biological memory of your ancestors’ struggle. Your brain is literally wired to be hyper-aware of threats that your great-grandparents faced.

Interactive Reflection #2: The ancestral map

What fears or rules did you inherit from your elders that no longer serve your current life? (e.g., “Don’t stand out,” “Trust no one”). Recognizing these is the first step to rewiring the neuronal connections that create you.

Your prefrontal cortex is your brain’s decision maker and the seat of your self-awareness. When we are under extreme stress or trauma, this thermostat can struggle to regulate our emotions. We become like sleepwalkers, performing complex tasks and moving through life, but with the conscious part of our brain essentially offline.

This is why, in survival mode, we often feel like we have no agency. Systemic racism acts as a constant magnetic field that manipulates our sense of control, making us feel like the authors of a story we didn’t write.

The beauty of the brain is that it is not static. Every experience, every sentence, and every intentional thought change its detail. While the subconscious is powerful, becoming aware of these hidden forces is the only way to gain control.

When we move out of the scripted life of survival and begin to freestyle letting go of the rigid self-monitoring born of fear, we actually perform better. We move from being a product of our past to being the strategic storytellers of our future.

Final workbook action

Commit to one unscripted act of joy this week that has nothing to do with survival. Notice how your brain tries to pull you back to work or safety. Sit with that tension. That is where your healing begins.