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Humans still are scratching the surface of what inner understanding means

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Photo Credit: Kayla Speid

BY GLORIA O’KOYE

Another year is about to pass with the mandatory masks being placed in the majority of spaces. Even though it was mentioned that there were some medical exemptions, it seemed that some places would rather lose what they deem as minor setbacks (customers) and refuse entry to folks who didn’t comply, even after individuals share their much valid reasoning. Everyone has their personal opinions and feelings about wearing masks, which can be seen as a nuisance, or is there something deeper than ‘I don’t feel like it’.

Society has been pushing the progressive mind-set for some time now, drilling it into education, board meetings, media, and much more on how to be empathic and not be so quick to judge. Countless training on how to be trauma-informed and anti-oppression frameworks became mandatory in work and academic spaces to tackle issues that had been long set in stone.

Special units and teams were formed to address the concerns of the BIPOC and other community issues that were once overlooked and dismissed. It was either emails, or public announcements on how we must unlearn the old way to see a brighter future. Everything seemed to be all talk with no actions when it came down to it, especially when things turned for the worse during these past two years. This pandemic had people making remarks and both sides were judging the other for the decisions they made. From lockdowns, masks to vaccines with the back and forth verbal debates that continue to separate loved ones. Though historical context and science are thrown against one another, what about the trauma and mental health that had been impacting the population?

Masks are seen as a form of protection from bacteria and viruses. We saw it in the media, in hospitals, and in times when there had been outbreaks. Some professions require the use of masks to protect themselves and others that they serve. For artists, some forms of art require the individuals to work chemicals and risk of toxic fumes (spray paint, etc.) so the mask serves a purpose in protecting one’s health. Masks are worn for short to long periods with frequent rest to get fresh air. So for some individuals, it wasn’t too much of a hassle when mandatory masks were put in place.

What about those who saw masks in a different light? To some it is viewed that the mandatory masks represent being silenced, freedom being taken away when it is enforced. Wearing a mask especially in the summer can feel like suffocating, because of the constant hot breath a body gives out and then breathing it back in. For those who may be pregnant and lying on their back for various reasons such as ultrasounds, wearing the mask for some time could intensify the pressure on their lungs making it difficult to breathe. Maybe the constant use of masks in crowded places heightened anxiety. Fresh air is often overlooked and the feeling of being constrained could trigger individuals.

To some, the masks could remind them of hands covering their mouth and nose, which could translate to multilayers of unresolved issues. Not knowing one’s history could lead others to quickly scold the need to pull the mask down.

It is already difficult for individuals to express what are the root causes that play a role in the choices they make, the side they pick to fight for. Something, which is seen as simple as putting on a mask, could create repressed emotions in others.

Society has a long way to go, even though decades have passed and more knowledge has been gained than in the past. It is moments like this that remind us that we as humans still are scratching the surface of what inner understanding means.

Creative Speak

On-going Battle With Imposters

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Photo by Sir Manuel on Unsplash

BY GLORIA O’KOYE

Imposter syndrome,

Self worth coated by the whispers of doubt

A downpour of not feeling equipped for new opportunities 

Topped with procrastinating to self sabotage

 

Seeking validations only to question the intention 

Fighting with devil advocates to believe if anyone is genuine

Mentally confined in a space that sucks out the life of dreams,

Continuously feed a spiral that imprisons any growth

So it can be buried in the cemetery, a graveyard of dwindled hope

A place that nurtures fear

 

How many walks of life 

Were self forced to stick on certain paths

How many brilliant minds get stuck into systems that wouldn’t care if you perish,

They’ll replace you instantly with a next 

Filling up gaps in your position 

When that same intensity should be invested in entrepreneurship

 

Like seeds of billion dollar blueprints scattered amongst the lands 

Only for it to face drought

Imposter syndrome is like famine 

Only through the eyes and mind of the beholder 

Has the wisdom to counteract 

And act accordingly to survive and prosper

 

To whomever is reading this

I want you to stop holding back

And step out in confidence.

You are worthy of all the love you are receiving,

You are certified and are able to handle 

All that is before you

Believe 

And set free 

You got this!

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Creative Speak

Know better, do better; Writing letters that heal

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Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

BY GLORIA O’KOYE

For centuries, writing letters played a huge part in people’s lives to remain in touch with family and friends around the world. Depending on how far the distance and what time era you were raised in, the mail may take days to months to get to its destination.

The anticipation of hearing back from your loved ones, the sound of opening up the envelope and unfolding the letter and reading every word that was written by hand. Before social media and messaging apps, phone cards could be a bit pricey, and the time spent on them was limited. Therefore, writing letters was still popular into the early 2000’s until programs like email and MSN messenger-built popularity in the younger generations.

Schools were still teaching children to write letters for school assignments and learning how to write in cursive; years passed by, and the art of letter writing declined gradually as technology continued to develop rapidly. Texting became more popular and that came along with more usage of abbreviations and slang, versus being more formal and use of correct grammar. People started to not have the patience to better their handwriting, nor read others’ work since the typed writing was more convenient and straightforward. With the convenience came some detachment.

I decided to go around and ask individuals with different life experiences and from different generations about their opinion on writing letters. Other than some mentioning that handwriting letters were time-consuming, in general, everyone was on the same page that they missed the genuine and love that is put into the writing.

A father who had been incarcerated for several years shared that when he first came out, he would still buy blank greeting cards to write personalized words for his children. He told me that he had eventually stopped because his children were just sending him digital eCards in return. He still kept all the letters that his family had written to him and said that he wished they hadn’t stopped, even if it was a postcard with their handwriting once in a while. I remembered when I was doing a placement at a community hub, and there was a wife of a war veteran who showed me the love letters her late husband had written to her while overseas. She wanted a typed-up version of the letters to put in a family collage for her grandchildren to keep, even though she wanted to rewrite them personally, but her handwriting was not as clear as she would want it to be.

The FYOU (The Forgiveness Project), a non-profit organization that focuses on restorative justice approaches to support youth and young adults in custody, is looking to start up a letter-writing series called ‘Know Better, Do Better’. The series is based on volunteers from the community writing letters for the population on the inside about lessons that they have learned in life. FYOU has held several communities writing events called ‘Letters That Heal’ which had several guest speakers who had lived experiences being incarcerated. They talked about how meaningful and impactful it is to receive letters from the outside world. You can reach out to them on their Instagram @projectfword to see more of the work they do and also to keep posted for upcoming community initiatives.

I want to leave off with some challenges you can do on your own time, grab some paper, blank greeting cards, postcards, etc. Think of some loved ones you may, or may not have heard for a while, write some personal messages to them and give it to them directly, or put them in their mailbox. Allow this art practice to live on and allow you to feel free and be creative.

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Creative Speak

“I am a resilient person, and I never gave up!” The resilience of Kadeem Reid

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BY GLORIA O’KOYE

I met the young and energetic individual, Kadeem Reid, recently at a talent show that was run by these two amazing youths, Rare and Earl, at the House of Moses venue at 168 Baldwin Street, located in the heart of Kensington Market.

It was late afternoon when I got to the showcase and was fortunate to be able to listen to Kadeem share a bit about himself. What stood out about Kadeem was how he was hyping and encouraging every single performer by cheering and dancing, and also that he had the qualities of being a motivational speaker by just hearing him speak.

I was able to connect with him afterward and wanted to know more about his life journey and his fitness program. I believe that the things we go through are for a reason, and will contribute to a greater cause, either it was a positive experience, or a painful lesson. We have to learn to move forward. I also want the youth, and anyone who has or is still dealing with similar life experiences as Kadeem, to know there is more to life. Dreams and goals can be accomplished. Do not allow circumstances to discourage anyone to make the most out of life. Life is too precious and goes by so fast for any one of us to linger on situations, or decisions that we had made.

I could not miss an opportunity to speak with this young man, so as soon as I had a chance, I caught up with Kadeem, and he graciously took time to share with me some of his experiences.

“I grew up in a very tough neighbourhood, the Rexdale community, and growing up in that environment I was exposed to violence, drugs, sex and that was the way of life in that area.

From an early age, I always found that something was missing, like there was a void in my life. I didn’t know how to fill that void which eventually led me to get lost in the narratives that the streets had to offer. I had gotten my first charges and was incarcerated when I was only thirteen, and once that cycle started it continued.

Finally, when I was twenty years old, I got shot and life just changed for me. The lesson that I have learned through all of my dark days of violence and incarceration was that I am a resilient person, and I never gave up. I believe that resilience is the key to anyone’s journey, no matter where you are, because you are practicing your free will and your willpower to overcome circumstances that life throws at you.

My resiliency is what sets me apart from a lot of individuals because I refuse to give up. I could lose my focus at times, but I will not give up no matter what situation I am in. Another lesson that I have learned is to not allow my emotions to get out of control, which can happen because of the trauma that I have endured. It is still a learning process for me, but I understand what the outcomes may be if I react without centring myself. Address yourself as a victor, a champion, and do not see yourself as a victim, because it affects how you perform in life.”

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