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Regardless of the reason, loneliness is painful

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Photo credit - BenZoik

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

“Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone,” theologian, Paul Tillich, wrote in The Eternal Now.

Hunched over a laptop, you sip your lukewarm latte. You glance around, observing other patrons: couples engrossed in conversation, a group of friends laughing uproariously, a lone writer scribbling furiously in a notebook.

You feel a familiar ache – a hollowness in your chest. You have been in this city for six months, yet it still feels alien. Your college friends are scattered across the country, and your attempts at making new connections have faltered.

You scroll through social media, and you are bombarded with images of seemingly perfect lives. Friends on vacations, couples celebrating milestones, families gathered for holidays. Each picture is a tiny dagger to your already wounded heart.

The APA calls it “Discomfort from being or perceiving oneself to be alone.” It’s more than that. It’s a gnawing emptiness, a constant low hum of sadness.

Divorce. New city. New job. Each change has chipped away at your support system. Even with people around, you feel utterly alone. Like a silent observer in your own life.

Have you found yourself avoiding doing things? How’s your mood? Do you feel disconnected? Do you feel guilty for not talking to friends?

Loneliness can stem from many things – mental health conditions, social anxiety; many of us don’t like to admit we all feel lonely from time to time. Regardless of the reason, loneliness is painful.

Before we go any further, I think that It’s important to recognize that “being alone” and “feeling lonely” are not the same thing. Being alone refers to the physical state of being by yourself. You are physically alone in the sense there is no one else with, or around you. Feeling lonely (or loneliness, on the other hand), is an emotional state where you feel disconnected, or isolated from others, even when surrounded by friends, or family.

Understanding this distinction is key to improving our emotional well-being. Sharon Melin, MA, Outpatient Therapist at Nystrom & Associates, explains, “Being alone is a state of being, while loneliness is a feeling. We can be perfectly content by ourselves, but loneliness arises when we feel unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected.”

Now that we know the difference, we can take steps to cope with loneliness and even change our state of mind. I hope these help, and if you have any thoughts to add, please, share.

Practice gratitude

Studies have shown that acts of gratitude can help us feel more positive. Also, keeping a gratitude journal, in which you write about what you feel grateful for. Gratitude journaling helps us realize what we have in our lives as opposed to what we lack. For a more targeted approach to gratitude journaling, follow the Three Good Things exercise in which you write about three good things (large, or small) that happened throughout your day. Try the practice daily for a set period of time, such as one week, and note if your sense of loneliness has shifted.

Pursue your passions

Pursuing your passions engages your mind and spirit, and this can decrease feelings of loneliness. By joining a recreational sports team, library book club, volunteer effort, or other activities you enjoy, you are also more likely to meet others who have shared interests.

Understand that things are not always what they seem

There is that feeling, when you just don’t feel good enough, where you feel “less than.” This feeling can contribute to your feelings of loneliness. With the uptake in social media use, it is hard not to compare yourself to others. It is only human to look at someone else and feel sad when their surface-level feelings, or apparent situation seem happier than our own. It’s important to realize we never know what is going on in someone else’s life.

Connect with yourself

Sometimes solitude is necessary; it becomes an opportunity for reflection, or doing things we enjoy. You have to consider the relationship you have with yourself, and how you can enrich it. Set aside a period of time each day to check in with yourself. You could meditate, pray, practice yoga, or read a couple of pages of a spiritual text. This practice can be done in as little as five minutes, but it’s helpful to do it every day so it becomes a healthy habit.

That’s it! Now, you have to take charge of how you feel. You have been provided some help in this article. I hope you can put it to good use.

REFERENCES:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4225959/

https://dictionary.apa.org/loneliness

https://www.cigna.com/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/loneliness-epidemic-america

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/loneliness?hsCtaTracking=73e665db-05c9-4ad8-9d8c-d4c3461a4053%7C4fa48faa-8ad2-4854-adf8-e759425ec60d

Being Alone Versus Feeling Lonely:

We, as humans are guaranteed certain things in life: stressors, taxes, bills and death are the first thoughts that pop to mind. It is not uncommon that many people find a hard time dealing with these daily life stressors, and at times will find themselves losing control over their lives. Simone Jennifer Smith’s great passion is using the gifts that have been given to her, to help educate her clients on how to live meaningful lives. The Hear to Help Team consists of powerfully motivated individuals, who like Simone, see that there is a need in this world; a need for real connection. As the founder and Director of Hear 2 Help, Simone leads a team that goes out into the community day to day, servicing families with their educational, legal and mental health needs.Her dedication shows in her Toronto Caribbean newspaper articles, and in her role as a host on the TCN TV Network.

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The People-to-People Programme opens doors to the heart of the Bahamas

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BY SIMONE J. SMITH

Snow falls softly outside the window. Inside, you shiver in a thick sweater, nursing a steaming mug of tea. Your condo feels cold and dreary. Ugh, this winter is never going to end. I have all these vacation days piling up. I can’t just let them go to waste.

You open your laptop, browsing travel websites. Images of sunny beaches and turquoise waters flash across the screen. “What am I doing? I need to escape this cold, grey misery.” You click on an article about the Bahamas. A picture of a vibrant, colorful village catches your eye.

“The Bahamas? Now that sounds interesting.” You start researching the Exumas, intrigued by the People-to-People Programme. Through this unique cultural exchange programme, visitors are welcomed into the homes of trusted, friendly locals, creating friendships and paving the way to gain special insight into true Bahamian lifestyle.

There’s something even more special about joining what they call a Sip Sip – a relaxed, good-natured gossip session with neighbours. As you read through the website, you see where: colourful stories are shared, contagious laughter flows, and the warmth of Exuma takes centre stage.

Ahh! You smile, imagining yourself immersed in the local culture, sipping on a tropical drink, surrounded by friendly faces. This sounds perfect. A chance to truly connect with the people and experience the real Bahamas.

The People-to-People Programme is an immersive experience that allows travelers to directly connect with Bahamian locals. Guided by the belief that “locals know best,” the programme carefully pairs visitors with volunteer ambassadors who are eager to showcase their: culture, traditions, and favourite spots. Whether it’s: finding the best fish fry in town, exploring hidden beaches, or savouring authentic local dishes, the People-to-People Programme opens doors to the heart of the islands. Guests can enjoy a plethora of memorable moments, gaining one-of-a-kind access to the Bahamas’ warm hospitality.

It’s simple: it is said that if you want to understand a destination, get to know the people who call it home. Imagine how it would feel if when visiting a new place for the first time that the moment you step through their door, you’re welcomed like family, sharing not just a meal, but meaningful stories, traditions, and laughter.

One such family is the Rolle family in Little Exuma. With the People-to-People Programme, you can join them for a traditional Bahamian feast at any of their three family-run eateries. Here, you’ll experience the island through the tantalizing aromas and mouthwatering tastes that are freshly served for your delight.

Next, enter the humble abode of the local-born artist, Fletcher Tinker, famous for his masterful woodworking and artistry skills. Whether it’s a casual dinner with new friends, a stroll through the bustling streets of Exuma, or swimming in the clear blue waters with friendly pigs, you’ll find that every interaction through People-to-People offers a deeper, more heartfelt connection to The Bahamas. This isn’t just sightseeing, it’s an invitation to feel the island’s heartbeat.

Enough reading. How could you resist this invitation? To join the People-to-People Programme, simply complete the guest registration form online, where you’ll provide key details to customize your experience. This information helps tailor your experience and match you with a local ambassador who will enhance your stay by sharing their culture and lifestyle. Choose which island(s) you’ll visit and select your interests from a variety of options.

Whether it’s arts and crafts, music, sports, or outdoor adventures, you’ll be matched with a local ambassador who shares your passions and will offer an unmatched, personalized experience. Just fill in your contact information, trip itinerary, and any special requirements, and click! Sit back and prepare for an unforgettable cultural journey.

To learn more about The Bahamas’ People-to-People Programme, visit https://www.bahamas.com/plan-your-trip/people-to-people. Discover how you can connect with local ambassadors and explore The Bahamas through the eyes of the people who know it best.

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The Canadian Government continues to pay lip service to ongoing issues of systemic discrimination and racism

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BY PAUL JUNOR

There has been evidence presented during the two weeks of hearings in Toronto to the lawyers representing the government. As 2024 comes to an end, there is faith and hope that there will be a favourable outcome. If the lawsuit is certified, it will make a significant impact on the lives of former and current Black public federal service employees.

The petition was started on December 2nd, 2020, and is directed to: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Anita Anand (President, Treasury Board of Canada Secretariat) and Arif Virani (Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada). As of Thursday, December 12th, 2024, there have been 34,409 signatures out of a total of 35,000. The petition noted that it is on behalf of tens of thousands of Black federal public service employees who have faced systemic discrimination and racism at the hands of their employer, the Government of Canada.

The Coalition Against Workplace Discrimination and the Michaelle Jean Foundation led by the Black Class Action Secretariat delivered the signatures of the petition to the Prime Minister’s Office located on 80 Wellington Street in Ottawa on Tuesday, February 10th, 2024 (International Human Rights Day).

The focus of the petition is directly related to the Black Class Action lawsuit. The focus of the lawsuit is on three specific areas in which Black public servants are affected including:

  • Barriers to promotion
  • Lack of career advancement opportunities
  • Pervasive anti-Black racism

The petition focuses on the following:

  • Canada’s acknowledgment of systemic racism
  • Ongoing discrimination despite acknowledgments
  • Government’s failure to act, despite previous settlements

The Facebook post on Monday, December 9th, 2024, by the Black Class Action Secretariat states, “The fight for justice for Black public service workers is increasing at a critical moment. On December 10th, 2024, we’ll deliver 35,000 signatures to the Prime Minister’s Office, demanding action on the Black Class Action lawsuit. This petition is a call for equity, accountability, and justice. It’s time for the government to deliver the change Black Canadians deserve.”

The petition calls on the Government of Canada to implement the following four measures in the lawsuit.

  • Establishing a new designated category under the Employment Equity Act for Black Canadians to ensure proportional representation and to address the unique challenges faced by Black public servants.
  • Developing and implementing a comprehensive diversity and equity plan to ensure proportional representation of Black Canadians at all levels of government.
  • Creating a Black Equity Commission to monitor, report, and ensure accountability for anti-Black racism within the federal public service.
  • Issuing a formal apology from the Prime Minister of Canada for the historic and ongoing discrimination against Black public servants.

Sharon DeSousa, National President of the Public Service Alliance of Canada states, “This government must stop denying justice for thousands of Black workers who have endured systemic racism in our public service. Settling the Black Class Action lawsuit and implementing these long overdue changes to the Employment Equity Act are critical steps to remedy decades of injustices and discrimination for workers.”

Nathan Prier, President of the Canadian Association of Professional Employees states, “International Human Rights Day commemorates the global pledge to secure the inalienable rights entitled to every human being, regardless of race, colour, religion, or sex. The Canadian government continues to pay lip service to ongoing issues of systemic discrimination and racism but has failed to make meaningful change that will impact the lives of everyday Canadians.”

Nicholas Marcus Thompson, President and CEO of the Black Class Action Secretariat states, “It has been nearly a year to the day when Labour Minister Seamus O’Regan committed to creating a designated category under the Employment Equity Act, and that promise still has not been realized. With a federal election around the corner, all of the progress that has been made through our advocacy work is in jeopardy of being lost. It is imperative that this government see this through.”

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The sooner you remove ultra processed foods from your diet, the closer you will be to a healthier, happier you

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BY SIMONE J. SMITH

It is convenience that often lures busy Torontonians into the clutches of processed foods. Grab-and-go meals, flashy packaging, and the promise of instant gratification make it all too easy to succumb to the allure of the drive-thru, or the supermarket aisles overflowing with pre-packaged snacks.

While these options may seem like a time-saver, their impact on our health can be a slow and insidious erosion of vitality. Today, we’ll delve into the hidden costs of this convenience, exploring how these readily available options may be compromising our well-being. We’ll also offer practical strategies for breaking free from the processed food trap and cultivating healthier eating habits, even in the midst of a hectic Toronto lifestyle.

Over the past few years, there’s been a growing number of studies about ultra processed foods and how they are responsible for the increase in chronic health concerns today. According to recent studies, ultra processed foods now constitute 50% to 60% of the daily energy intake among high-income countries, and low-and middle-income countries are starting to follow in our disastrous footsteps.

If you look past their attractive packaging and “enjoyable” flavours — properties that are intentionally given to these foods to make them more marketable and appealing to consumers — you’ll see that these convenient, mass-produced foods are putting your health in jeopardy.

A recent Swedish study provides compelling evidence that ultra processed foods increase all-cause mortality, especially among women. The October 2024 study aimed to understand the molecular impact of consuming ultra processed food and how it affects mortality.

The researchers used data from the Malmö Diet and Cancer cohort study, which began in 1991, and involved 27,670 participants. The participants were asked to keep a food diary, recording their daily meals for a week, and were interviewed as well about their diet. Their blood samples were also collected and analyzed.

In the featured study, the primary subgroups that make up the participants’ processed food intake included: starchy foods and breakfast cereals (26%), beverages (23.3%), sugary products (18.4%), sauces and fats (15.5%) and meat and fish (13.6%). These are all classified as “NOVA 4 foods.” What are NOVA 4 foods? Here’s a summary of the NOVA categories:

  • NOVA 1 (Unprocessed or minimally processed foods) — These are edible plant and animal products (whole foods) that are minimally modified or preserved to improve their shelf life and ease of preparation.
  • NOVA 2 (Processed culinary ingredients) — They undergo grinding, refining and pressing. Honey, salt, sugar, butter and vegetable oils fall under this category.
  • NOVA 3 (Processed foods) — These are made by combining NOVA 1 and 2 — Group 2 foods are added to Group 1 foods to enhance their “durability and sensory qualities.”
  • NOVA 4 (ultra processed foods and drinks) — They contain little to no Group 1 components and are industrial formulations that use unusual additives outside of Group 2. These foods are mass-produced and highly processed for high palatability.

After analyzing their blood results, the researchers found that higher intake of ultra processed foods was associated with “unfavorable lipid profiles,” including reduced HDL, or “good cholesterol” and increased VLDL or “bad cholesterol.”

These findings show that there is a positive association between ultra processed food consumption and mortality from: cardiovascular disease, cancer. and respiratory disease. Again, a stronger link was seen in female and older participants, compared to male participants.

In an article titled, “Ultra-processed Foods and Human Health: an Umbrella Review and Updated Meta-Analysis of Observational Evidence,” researchers reviewed existing meta-analyses and publications involving ultra processed food consumption, covering a wide time period — from the inception of these foods up until 2023.

The results were startling, as they showed that ultra processed foods were associated with 25 different negative health outcomes among: adults, children and adolescents. These include respiratory diseases, kidney, liver, or gastrointestinal diseases, mental health problems and more.

We’re all hooked, it’s true, but remember, it’s not about deprivation, it’s about liberation. The sooner you remove ultra processed foods from your diet, the closer you will be to a healthier, happier you. Start small. Trade that sugary fizz for sparkling water. Swap those processed chips for a vibrant rainbow of veggies. Each bite of whole, unadulterated goodness is an investment in your well-being. It’s a chance to reclaim your health, one delicious, nourishing choice at a time.

REFERENCES:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261561424003807

https://www.news-medical.net/health/The-NOVA-Method-of-Food-Classification.aspx

https://www.clinicalnutritionjournal.com/article/S0261-5614(24)00122-5/fulltext

Eating Ultraprocessed Foods Raises Mortality Risks, Especially for Women

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