Money is spiritual: rewriting our money story

Have you ever asked yourself why you spend the way you do?

Before I begin, here is a disclaimer. This article may stir emotions that have been dormant for years, even across generations. Take a moment to ground yourself as we explore a conversation our community does not often have, but perhaps needs to.

So here it goes…

While facilitating a Life Coach session with a client one day, it occurred to me that their money story was rearing its ugly head. No matter how much time we spent discussing their immediate financial situation, it became clear that we had to dive into the story that had coloured and, in some cases, governed, their relationship with money. Peeling away those layers led to a crystal-clear revelation: money is one of our greatest mirrors.

Years later, I found myself navigating some major financial changes. After the end of a five-year relationship and a subsequent one-year marriage, I was starting over and had to make some difficult decisions. During that season, I learned a great deal about both money and people.

I was literally living overdraft to overdraft (not even cheque to cheque) and reached out to a few people for temporary financial support. What I discovered surprised me. Many people were simply not in a position to lend even $50 because of their own budgets and financial responsibilities.

It dawned on me that many of us still have not figured this part of life out, even people in midlife with assets and homes whom I assumed were in a stronger financial position than they actually were. More importantly, I realized how deeply our daily habits, fears, identity, values, and sense of self-worth shape our relationship with money. I also recognized how much of my own self-worth had become attached to my biweekly and monthly income statements.

I concluded that money is more than just money. It represents safety, freedom, love, power, and even our F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real). Through reading, research, and self-reflection, I realized our relationship with money is also shaped by family beliefs, cultural traditions, religious teachings, historical trauma, and experiences of both scarcity and abundance.

As I continued this journey, I found myself asking a few important questions:

• How do I feel when I look at my bank account?
• Do I feel deserving of abundance?
• What story am I repeating?

When I was young, I remember my parents calling through the house, “Turn off the light!” whenever someone left a room with the lights on.

If you come from a Caribbean background, that may sound very familiar. It leaves me wondering: Is this still a practice in your home? Beyond the practicality of conserving electricity, answer honestly, without judgment. During my adolescence, that message meant much more than simply, “Don’t waste.” It also communicated, “We don’t have the privilege of wasting energy.” It reflected the survival mindset of immigrants building a better life with limited resources.

That message was about survival. So, what stories about money and wealth have you inherited? Take a moment to ask yourself:

• How do I feel when my bank account has been depleted because of a major expense or unexpected emergency?
• How do I feel when I have just received a substantial deposit into my account?
• Do either of those feelings truly represent my self-worth and value?

Perhaps our relationship with money has never really been about the dollars at all. If that is true then our financial future doesn’t only begin with earning more money, but with rewriting the story we tell ourselves about money.

Truth is, we are just scratching the surface of this conversation. In the next installment of Money is Spiritual, we will explore where our money story begins, how childhood experiences shape our financial habits, and why healing our relationship with money may be one of the greatest gifts we can leave for future generations.