BY AMARI SUKHDEO
I’m getting older. I know 18 is still young—I’m still a teenager—but this is the oldest I’ve ever been, and I’m starting to feel it. Time is strange. As a kid, it moved so slowly; I remember waiting what felt like years for my birthday. Now, the days blur together, and time is speeding by. Before I know it, I’ll be in my twenties. It’s exciting to be officially an adult, with endless opportunities ahead, but there’s also an overwhelming sense of pressure and uncertainty. This is it—I’m no longer a kid. Yet, somehow, I still feel like one. I thought turning 18 would make me more mature, more responsible, and better at handling things. But that hasn’t happened. Sure, I have more responsibilities—a job, a car—but deep down, I still feel like the same person.
Now that I’m 18 and in university, people’s expectations of me have changed almost instantly. Suddenly, I’m being asked what I’m doing with my life, where I see myself in the future, and what my long-term plans are. When I was younger, those questions felt distant, almost like a fun guessing game. Now, they carry a different weight—people expect real answers, yet I’m still as clueless about the answers as I was as a kid (after all, I have changed my major 3 times).
It’s interesting how quickly the shift happens. One moment, I’m just a teenager with time to figure things out, and the next, I’m supposed to have a clear direction. I understand that this is part of growing up, but it’s still strange to see how people’s perception of me has changed. People say I’m responsible now. They see me juggling work, driving, doing my errands and keeping up with everything, but I don’t always feel that way. Sure, I have more responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean I suddenly have everything under control. I’m still figuring things out, still learning.
My role in society feels different now. I’m no longer just a student, or a kid going through the motions—I’m a commuter, an employee, someone who has to plan out my own life. I have more freedom than ever, but with that comes a sense of responsibility I didn’t fully grasp before. I know I have guidance from family, friends, and mentors, but at the end of the day, my choices are mine to make. No one is telling me exactly what to do anymore; it’s up to me to decide what I want for my future. It’s a strange kind of independence—exciting, but also unfamiliar. For the first time, I feel like I’m truly in charge of my own path, and that realization is both liberating and a little daunting.
Turning 18 hasn’t changed who I am, but it has changed how the world sees me. Suddenly, people call me “Ma’am,” and I’m not sure how to feel about it. Friends and coworkers ask what days I’m free, and to my surprise, I’m not as free as I used to be. Between work, responsibilities, and planning for the future, my time isn’t as endless as it once felt. Guess that’s just part of growing up. I don’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay—adulthood isn’t about knowing all the answers, I guess it’s just learning as you go.