Adversity is knocking

BY TARA MYSHRALL

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how life’s story will develop” DietermF. Uchtdorf

Logically we know that we are going to face adversity in life and that there are lessons to be learnt.  When the sun is shining and we feel enthralled in the game of life, we feel we can accept any challenge that is thrown at us.  But when a crisis unexpectedly hits it is hard to recall that clear thinking and we can get wrapped up in the story and drama of the situation.

Life is all about yin and yang. There is a balance to the universe and this law means there will always be an equal reaction for every action. If this is the case, then we know that those wonderful moments that take our breathe away with joy will not be possible 100% of the time and conversely the moments that feel dark and lonely will pass as well. I try to remind myself that this too will pass. Nothing good or bad is forever.

Despair and uncertainty can be very hard to navigate and it’s easy to get lost. I’ve felt that several times in my life, and it certainly isn’t easy to just dust yourself off and move forward. I tend to feel the pain, cry the tears, lie on the couch, walk, yell, write and whatever else I can do to process the emotions of what I am feeling. Once these emotions are processed, I feel freer to move forward from those feelings. As much as we want to avoid this process, it is a part of life and we need the darkness as much as we need the light.

When you are in a high or low how do you not get intoxicated by the moment? A gentle reminder…feel everything, process and release. What we resist persists, so instead of resisting or ignoring your feelings allow them to flow and understand the lesson they are trying to teach you. I have heard many times in my life not to get “emotional” and for a long time I avoided my emotions and was so stuck in logic. We can feel our emotions and not get stuck in them.

But how do we dust ourselves off after feeling like we have hit rock bottom? Three things will help.

First, don’t compare your journey to others. Many times, the way we perceive other’s situation is very different than the reality of their life. Your journey is uniquely yours for the stage that your soul is in. You will process differently than others and only you have the answers within on the lesson that is being presented to you.

Secondly, don’t judge yourself against what you logically think you should do, what your positive thinking app told you to think or the last self-help book you read. “I should haves” don’t serve you. You cannot change the past decisions and your harsh judgment of self will not allow the flow to happen.

Lastly, trade your expectations for appreciation. If we can flip our focus to what we are being taught in any moment, we can gently remind ourselves that although it may feel like every part of our life is falling apart, we still awoke and took another breath today.  We still have someone in the world that loves us, even if that is not clear to us in the moment and we still have someone out there that we love dearly, and love is the strongest force on Earth.

Be gentle with yourself, my friends, as this game of life can certainly throw us curve balls. But with the correct mindset, we may just hit that ball out of the park.