Are you willing to work for your happiness?

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

One aspect of my life that I have grown to appreciate is my ability to keep very intelligent people around me. This group of intellects serves a dual purpose: they serve in keeping me focused and out of my head, and they also serve in helping me grow into my God-given gifts. One of these individuals is my partner Dave ‘Rankin’ Lindsay! He is a man of few words, but when he does speak, he usually says something that causes me to reflect on my interaction with the external world and my interaction with my internal world.

We were having one of our many discussions this past weekend, and I believe we were rapping about the fact that when someone is dealing with an area of failure in their lives, they have the tendency to negate their role in the failure. They will put the blame on events happening in their external world; how many times have you heard others, or even yourself using phrases like:

“He/She makes me so mad!”

“He/She made me do it!”

“If it wasn’t for _______________ I would have been on time.”

“I had a rough childhood; this is why I act like this!”

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth!”

Interestingly enough, some of these statements that I hear adults making are parallel to statements that I will hear from some of my grade 3 and 4’s. Now, if this has triggered you in any way, I want you to take note of it; this article might just help you start to work on taking responsibility for not only your actions but for your happiness.

 “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” (Author Unknown)

“I am telling you, Simone, most people are not willing to work for their happiness. They will work hard, take overtime shifts, anything to ensure that they get their bills paid; but when it comes to their own happiness, they find ways to escape doing the work that is needed,” Dave exclaimed. “Do you think that you have worked for your happiness Dave,” I asked? “Of course, I have, and it was not easy!”

I knew what he meant by that, and for the rest of the afternoon, I reflected on the work that I had done for my own happiness. I had to give up a life of obvious comfort, which entailed a full-time corporate job that paid well. I also had to gather up the courage to go and see a psychologist and work through many of the issues that had caused me so much pain in my past. This was probably the hardest work that I had to do because it was at that point that I realized how responsible I was for my own pain. It also helped me realized that if I was responsible for my own pain, I could also be responsible for my happiness, but it would take a little more work.

Do you know how hard it is to take responsibility for your actions? This type of work means that you have to take ownership of your behavior and the consequences for that behavior. It is easy to deflect, trust me! It keeps your precious ego safe and sheltered, but it does nothing for helping you develop self-respect or even have the respect of others. Breaking yourself down, and then building yourself back up can be exhausting mentally, but this is why it is called work. It is no wonder that so many people avoid it. It is easier to make money to deal with external situations then it is to take responsibilities for your internal conflicts. My dutiful readers, I want you to do something for yourself this week; I want you to tune into ways that you can start doing some real work, and not just the work that puts food on the table. The type of work that I am asking you to do will feel horrible at times, but I promise you that the richness you will feel at the end of it will be well worth it.