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Regardless of the reason, loneliness is painful

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Photo credit - BenZoik

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

“Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone,” theologian, Paul Tillich, wrote in The Eternal Now.

Hunched over a laptop, you sip your lukewarm latte. You glance around, observing other patrons: couples engrossed in conversation, a group of friends laughing uproariously, a lone writer scribbling furiously in a notebook.

You feel a familiar ache – a hollowness in your chest. You have been in this city for six months, yet it still feels alien. Your college friends are scattered across the country, and your attempts at making new connections have faltered.

You scroll through social media, and you are bombarded with images of seemingly perfect lives. Friends on vacations, couples celebrating milestones, families gathered for holidays. Each picture is a tiny dagger to your already wounded heart.

The APA calls it “Discomfort from being or perceiving oneself to be alone.” It’s more than that. It’s a gnawing emptiness, a constant low hum of sadness.

Divorce. New city. New job. Each change has chipped away at your support system. Even with people around, you feel utterly alone. Like a silent observer in your own life.

Have you found yourself avoiding doing things? How’s your mood? Do you feel disconnected? Do you feel guilty for not talking to friends?

Loneliness can stem from many things – mental health conditions, social anxiety; many of us don’t like to admit we all feel lonely from time to time. Regardless of the reason, loneliness is painful.

Before we go any further, I think that It’s important to recognize that “being alone” and “feeling lonely” are not the same thing. Being alone refers to the physical state of being by yourself. You are physically alone in the sense there is no one else with, or around you. Feeling lonely (or loneliness, on the other hand), is an emotional state where you feel disconnected, or isolated from others, even when surrounded by friends, or family.

Understanding this distinction is key to improving our emotional well-being. Sharon Melin, MA, Outpatient Therapist at Nystrom & Associates, explains, “Being alone is a state of being, while loneliness is a feeling. We can be perfectly content by ourselves, but loneliness arises when we feel unseen, misunderstood, or disconnected.”

Now that we know the difference, we can take steps to cope with loneliness and even change our state of mind. I hope these help, and if you have any thoughts to add, please, share.

Practice gratitude

Studies have shown that acts of gratitude can help us feel more positive. Also, keeping a gratitude journal, in which you write about what you feel grateful for. Gratitude journaling helps us realize what we have in our lives as opposed to what we lack. For a more targeted approach to gratitude journaling, follow the Three Good Things exercise in which you write about three good things (large, or small) that happened throughout your day. Try the practice daily for a set period of time, such as one week, and note if your sense of loneliness has shifted.

Pursue your passions

Pursuing your passions engages your mind and spirit, and this can decrease feelings of loneliness. By joining a recreational sports team, library book club, volunteer effort, or other activities you enjoy, you are also more likely to meet others who have shared interests.

Understand that things are not always what they seem

There is that feeling, when you just don’t feel good enough, where you feel “less than.” This feeling can contribute to your feelings of loneliness. With the uptake in social media use, it is hard not to compare yourself to others. It is only human to look at someone else and feel sad when their surface-level feelings, or apparent situation seem happier than our own. It’s important to realize we never know what is going on in someone else’s life.

Connect with yourself

Sometimes solitude is necessary; it becomes an opportunity for reflection, or doing things we enjoy. You have to consider the relationship you have with yourself, and how you can enrich it. Set aside a period of time each day to check in with yourself. You could meditate, pray, practice yoga, or read a couple of pages of a spiritual text. This practice can be done in as little as five minutes, but it’s helpful to do it every day so it becomes a healthy habit.

That’s it! Now, you have to take charge of how you feel. You have been provided some help in this article. I hope you can put it to good use.

REFERENCES:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4225959/

https://dictionary.apa.org/loneliness

https://www.cigna.com/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/loneliness-epidemic-america

https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/loneliness?hsCtaTracking=73e665db-05c9-4ad8-9d8c-d4c3461a4053%7C4fa48faa-8ad2-4854-adf8-e759425ec60d

Being Alone Versus Feeling Lonely:

We, as humans are guaranteed certain things in life: stressors, taxes, bills and death are the first thoughts that pop to mind. It is not uncommon that many people find a hard time dealing with these daily life stressors, and at times will find themselves losing control over their lives. Simone Jennifer Smith’s great passion is using the gifts that have been given to her, to help educate her clients on how to live meaningful lives. The Hear to Help Team consists of powerfully motivated individuals, who like Simone, see that there is a need in this world; a need for real connection. As the founder and Director of Hear 2 Help, Simone leads a team that goes out into the community day to day, servicing families with their educational, legal and mental health needs.Her dedication shows in her Toronto Caribbean newspaper articles, and in her role as a host on the TCN TV Network.

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Are citizens the ones causing harm to the environment, or is it our world leaders?

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BY MICHAEL THOMAS

For many years now, we the public have been hounded by the climate change hoaxers in government and climate zahrs who have lied to us, lectured us, and now have subjected us to punitive financial steps to make us comply with their climate change lies. In this piece, we shall first look at, and then reveal who the real climate vampires are.

A recent study published by PubMed has revealed what many others have long suspected, which is that wireless radiation emitted by cell towers and other wireless technology harms both human health and the environment.

All these mentioned in the paragraph above fall under electromagnetic fields (EMF), which seriously affect many different life forms, from plants and animals to insects and bacteria.

This is exceptionally serious considering that from the depths of the soil to the highest layers of the atmosphere imbalances caused by this wireless radiation emitted by cell towers can affect the universe in ways that we as humans never thought possible; here is how this is happening.

It is important to note here that as recently as August 2021, The U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit ruled in favor of Children’s Health Defense (CHD) in its landmark case against the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), challenging the FCC’s decision not to review its health and safety guidelines regarding 5G and wireless technology.

This happened because the court recognized that the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) did not fully disclose the harmful effects of these radiations upon the public. This ruling also made it clear that the FCC was arbitrary and capricious in its failure to respond to comments concerning environmental harm caused by RF radiation.

Here are the findings of this study about what, how, and who is affected.

As mentioned earlier studies have shown that radiofrequency EMFs can have detrimental impacts on plant species, some of these impacts include: A shorter lifespan in certain plant species and trees that are exposed to cell towers being damaged on the exposed side which over time spreads to the entire tree.

In animals the effects are devastating; here is how. Radiofrequency EMFs have also been shown to adversely affect several animals such as: birds, frogs, rats, and mice.

These studies show that electromagnetic pollution from wireless telecommunications may be a factor in reducing certain mammal populations. There has been a notable decline in the number of babies and irreversible infertility in mice due to radiofrequency radiation.

Cell towers can cause developmental problems and death to the tadpoles exposed to them. Then there is the inability for birds to navigate their path safely because of electromagnetic noise, which blocks out their magnetic compass.

Even rats that come into contact with the waves from these cell towers give birth to babies with altered genetic expression in the brain. Insects experience changes in their: behavior, physiology, and morphology because of the trauma of these 5G networks and their towers.

This study revealed that even bacteria are not exempt from the harmful effects of EMF sources such as Wi-Fi, which have also been shown to have significantly altered their growth rate.

Studies have shown that even the extremely low-frequency EMFs from power lines can produce changing effects in the magnetosphere, the region of space around the earth.

As promised in paragraph one, we looked at and explained the damage caused by these: cell towers, WIFI, radiofrequency EMF, and 5G radiation. In closing, we will examine who is responsible. I will be concise in my answer by saying that it is those mentioned in the same paragraph.

Imagine hypocrites and liars like: Al Gore, Tony Blair, John Kerry, Justin Trudeau, and the little WEF climate actress Greta Thunberg lecturing us on climate change.

These are the liars who use private jets to circle the globe religiously, while climate taxing us and attempting to shame us for using our little cars.

Finally, we must follow the money. Who owns and benefits from the 5G rollout? Readers, I am sure your surname is not BlackRock or Vanguard, is it? Now we know who is controlling these greedy climate puppets mentioned above.

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Public Service Alliance of Canada calls on government to ensure pension surplus goes to workers and not o federal coffers

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BY PAUL JUNOR

The issue of what to do with the federal public service pension surplus of $9.3 billion is of significant concern to more than 700,000 federal public service workers, retirees, and territorial government employees. The federal government has expressed an interest in utilizing the surplus and this has prompted the Public Service Alliance of Canada (PSAC) to launch a national campaign to bring awareness of the government’s plan. PSAC released information in a press release on Wednesday, November 20th, 2024, to express its concerns about the government’s planned actions.

Sharon DeSousa, National President of the PSAC states, “This is a betrayal of trust. Workers and the government contribute equally to this pension fund, but now the government is taking a break while workers are left to shoulder the burden.” PSAC believes that the government’s desire to put its hands on the surplus pensions would be a precedent-setting move. It could prompt private and public employers to do the same thing to their employees’ pension plans. This is an essential issue for the largest public sector union in Canada. “This is more than a fight for public sector workers; it is a fight for everyone who believes in: fairness, accountability, and the retirement security of workers.” National President Dsouza notes further, “If the federal government (the largest employer in the country) can raid its own workers’ pensions, what stops other employers from doing the same thing?”

PSAC is optimistic and hopeful that the federal government will reverse its course of action as it is still early. They have presented three possible solutions to protect retirement security and tackle the pension surplus. These include:

  • Reverse the two-tier system:

Reverse the two-tier system introduced by the Harper government in 2012. Under the Harper changes, federal workers who started their jobs on, or after January 1st, 2013, must work five years longer to reach full retirement. This inequality is fundamentally unjust.

  • Equitable retirement options for frontline workers:

Follow through on the government’s commitment to provide equitable retirement benefits for frontline public safety workers.

  • Suspend employee contributions:

If the government gives itself a contribution holiday, workers who equally pay into the pension plan should get one too, ensuring fairness and equality.

DeSousa states, “This isn’t about pensions; it’s about fairness, accountability, and doing the right thing for the workers who serve Canada every day.”

In a press release on Monday, November 25th, 2024, issued after the federal government’s announcement of a multi-billion-dollar surplus, PSAC notes that “This represented a once-in-a-generation opportunity to invest in the future of Canada’s public service, and righting the wrongs of the Harper era.” The press release referred to a report by the independent Chief Actuary of Canada, which acknowledged that there was a $1.9 billion surplus in the Public Service Pension Plan (PSPP) that is more than the optimal surplus allowed according to prescribed legislation. These funds will be transferred to the Consolidated Revenue Fund by the government.

PSAC is not pleased that federal workers who commenced on, or after January 1st, 2023, have to wait five years later to get a full pension. For PSAC, “This inequality is fundamentally unjust.” President DeSousa notes, “Federal workers built this pension surplus through their hard-earned contributions, and taking these funds is a betrayal of their trust. It also sets a dangerous precedent for all Canadian employers who may now be eying the pension contributions of other public sector workers.”

PSAC believes that the transfer of these funds into general government revenues rather than to alleviate the unfair two-tier pension system is inherently unfair. PSAC has offered a cost-neutral policy to the government to undo the policies introduced by Harper and will continue its fight to ensure these funds are allocated equitably. “PSAC is determined to express opposition to any actions by the federal government to divert these funds,” DeSousa notes. “A two-tier system is inherently unfair, especially for: racialized, Black, Indigenous, and young workers who make up the majority of recent hires-the same workers this government has confirmed to support and recruit into the public service. If the government is serious about equity and inclusion, we need fair retirement benefits for everyone.”

In an email on Friday, November 29th, 2024, PSAC announced that government’s actuaries revealed that $7.4 billion will be taken from the PSPP as it suspends employer contributions. The government has tabled measures indicating that it will pass the surplus to its coffers. President DeSousa states, “The decision by the government to put itself ahead of workers is wrong. They’re suspending employer contributions for the plan, but not investing in fairer pensions, or a contribution break for workers. That is a betrayal.”

PSAC is disappointed that the government did not engage in consultations with them and hid their true intentions hoping that they would not be found out. DeSousa notes, “The government could have given much-needed financial relief to some of the lowest paid workers in the federal government and make a fairer pension system in a revenue-neutral way, at no cost at all to taxpayers. The question is, why didn’t they?”

DeSousa expressed disappointment at the failure of the government to table pension reform legislation and ensure that frontline public safety and law enforcement workers have access to future equitable retirement benefits. “I spoke with the Prime Minister earlier this week. He must do right by these workers. It’s not too late.”

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Vegetable Pancakes: Wintertime delicious

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BY STEVEN KASZAB

Zucchini Pancakes: A flexible vegetarian meal that allows you to add whatever you desire to it, feeding your family a nutritious main for breakfast, or lunch. The main ingredients need not be zucchini, but perhaps squash, or any other fleshy fiber laden veggie. Also, you can top the pancake with just about whatever you desire be it: hot peppers, fried eggs, jam or even delicious maple syrup.

Family instructions: You will prepare this just as you would a regular pancake.

  • Shred three small zucchini’s and add a teaspoon of salt to draw out the moisture, leaving it to breathe for about 10-15 minutes.
  • While you’re waiting, chop green onions, or scallions finely. You will need 3 – 4 eggs to blend into the zucchini. If you wish to replace eggs with another substitute that will bind the shredded zucchini such as: flax, or chia seeds in water, mashed bananas, or applesauce do so.
  • Mix together and add if you so desire a cheese such as parmesan cheese to your distinctive taste, along with fruit, or berries. Add one cup of flour (more if you want the pancake to be denser).
  • Using a large spoon add to a hot pan, frying to your desired consistency. Flip and add some cheese to melt if you wish.

Another less costly ingredient may be the ever-present Mexican Avocado diced and added to the mix. The Germans often add fried onions with diced mushrooms and in Southern Italy don’t be surprised to find fried anchovies with pitted olives added.

Cooking is limited only by your imagination, so be creative, experiment and enjoy.

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