BY GLORIA O’KOYE
The fast glamorous life! We see it in movies, TV shows, music videos glorifying it. We hear about it, watch people around us, get mesmerized by the attention and quick money it brings. It became an on-going trend over the years and it has left a huge impact within our communities and all over the world. Some call it the hood life, street life, the underground world and many other names in different slangs and languages around the world. It has been extremely influential and countless lives have been directly or indirectly affected by it.
Yet the mainstream media only spotlights certain things in the lifestyle, and overlooks some of the realities that comes with it. It seems that no matter how often we have heard the stories of those with lived experiences, and even saw the outcome in the finale from popular drama series, we continue to romanticize it.
The entertainment side has long milked the people’s stories for their personal gain. They feed into curious minds that have long been fascinated by other people’s struggles, the movie-like drama to satisfy their adrenaline rush. They brush off advocates that fight to protect the communities that face immediate dangers. To them, the gang life is a spectacle that they can watch from afar and in some cases try to instigate tensions between different parties through social media pages and music videos. As the years have gone by, the messages have been more blunt, and recently certain popular songs insinuated that any person from a different neighbourhood who has nothing to do with street politics can get dragged into it, all because they lived in the area.
They leave out the cold nights, sleeping on the stairwell when business is low. The constant fear of watching your back because what is the meaning of friendship when the enemy could be within the circle. They don’t stress enough the emotional toil and the PTSD that comes with it. There are the nightmares of familiar faces, along with the constant battle within the mind.
Too often the media does not educate about the expenses of even maintaining the lifestyle, such as bail money, and even money for one’s burial gets overlooked. It seems only a few in life have made preparations so there won’t be a fundraising event needed to help ease the burdens of loved ones. Some brag about the neighbourhood they came from and claim forced loyalty, yet don’t invest back into it other than attract violence and only step foot for a few minutes to pose. Then they would leave and remain cozy in a different spot, while the community has to deal with retaliation.
The life that would have family pit against one another; cousins killing cousins while friends from oppositions talk in order to protect one another. They don’t seem to highlight the fact that one could be buried right next to an enemy in the same cemetery.
On the flipside, when things go south such as a crime or homicide victim, then there is a public outcry about something that must be done. The same media will quickly search for a mug shot or any pictures that would depict someone in the worst possible manner.
The damage has already been done and outsiders would only see and judge the surface of the cover story. They forget the humanity of a person, that the person was also and/or someone else’s child, parent, friend, spouse and etc. They would not see the person’s childhood, dreams, thoughts, fears and joy. It becomes another statistic; talk of the town for a day or two depending on who it is.
The stories are still being told, and the residual trauma is leaving the upcoming generations to seek comfort by other means that have led to grave consequences.
Today’s world does not allow our youth to grieve in peace. The meme pages that constantly show the videos while the comment sections are ruthless and unsympathetic to the families whose members may stumble onto them. Now, add the pandemic where funerals aren’t running how they would normally run. Sometimes a proper in-person ceremony that may have provided any closure is gone.
What can be done in order to at least have a start? There are many amazing grassroots organizations and individuals that have been doing the groundwork and deserve recognition in which I hope to get a chance to showcase them. Groups like: Project Alchemy, Gen Chosen, Think 2wice and many more have used modules that work and are constantly growing in popularity among the youth and communities.
In order to really make change, we must take our time to dig deep into our city that has always and will continue to fight for our people. All is not lost in a battle that seems to be never ending, but we have to open our mind and our ears to see what is in front us.