Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions; The Triad Understood

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

Let us start with a visual exercise; so, you wake up in the morning, and your first thought is, “I really do not want to go to work today.” You crawl out of bed, and you realize that you have a massive headache. Your spouse did not throw out the garbage last night as promised, and now the entire kitchen stinks. You freak out because the smell is only making your growing headache worse. This causes an argument between yourself and your spouse, and now that headache is a migraine. You decide, “Forget it,” and call work to let them know you are not coming in. You had some sick days racked up so why not use them.

This is a very minute scenario, but believe me when I say that the connection between the negative thought: “I really do not want to go to work today,” the headache, and then the final decision not to go into work can occur on a larger scale, and in many different situations. This cognitive behavioral triad has been the basis of most of the suffering that we feel, but because we are not aware of it, it happens repeatedly with sometimes devastating effects. This week I want to shed some light on this triad, which will hopefully shed some light as to why your life could be spiralling out of control.

Cognitive Behavior Psychology is the study of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Many of us have no idea how much our thoughts are affecting our day-to-day lives. We just go through the motions, and hope for better days, not realizing that we are the ones who are responsible for creating better days. When I work with individuals in the community, I listen keenly to their presenting problem, which usually stems from a thought. I will let them speak for as long as necessary, and then I gently begin highlighting their thoughts and bringing them to the person’s awareness. One exercise that I start with is journaling. I will explain to them that we have our thoughts run away with us because we are not putting them into focus. When we write our thoughts down, we can actually see what is going on in our heads. For many of the people I work with, the thoughts are not very good, and this is why they feel the way they feel. This exercise can last for about a week, and when it is time to review these thoughts, many are surprised at what they are saying to themselves unconsciously.

At this point, it is not my role to point out how faulty their cognition is; it is only to have them realize that these thoughts exist and that they are affecting the way they feel. Our feelings and emotions have a humongous impact on our outlook; you can look at your emotions almost like a default function.  When all else fails, our emotions take charge, and this can work against us. This is why it is imperative that we truly grasp why we must control our thoughts, if not our emotions always win, and not in the way that we want them to.

The last part of the cognitive triad is the behavior component; this is what happens after those feelings kick in. Now, if we are allowing our emotions to rule us, the behaviors that follow are not rational. This is why an anger management technique that is utilized is the art of walking away. When you can step away from a heated situation, your mind has time to process what really happened. You can then analyse if what you are feeling makes sense and is appropriate, and then you can act accordingly.

As a mental health specialist, my job is to continue exploring how to teach therapeutic techniques to the community, and to help them identify areas in their lives that they have never seen as being an issue before. If you would like more information on cognitive behavioral psychology, and how it works, feel free to email me, and I will provide information for you. Let’s get well together Toronto.