Top 5 Life Lessons learned by the age of 40

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

I was unsure of how I was going to feel when I turned 40, and now that I am, I am still not sure how, or what I am supposed to feel. I am a 40 year old Jamaican-Canadian woman who has seen many failures, suffered many losses, suffered through and am dealing with addictions, I have not gotten married YET, I have not had kids YET, I have not made my first million YET, and I have not reached the pinnacle of my success YET.

Depending on where you are when you have reached a certain age can determine how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about your future. For some, these major birthdays bring: depression, sadness, feelings of haste, and for some it brings: joy, feelings of peace, and solace. Regardless of how you feel when you hit these milestone birthdays, one thing that must be done is a complete recollection of lessons learned, mistakes made, and a revision of your life so that your future looks different then your past. This week I would like to share with the readers the 5 lessons that I have learned in the last 40 years. These lessons have stuck with me because there are times when I had to relearn many of them. Let’s take a brief journey through my last 40 years; I will be using famous quotes to illustrate them.

Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word. George R.R. Martin

 There are parts of my life that I have not healed from; I know this because I am triggered by: events that may occur, visuals I may see, songs I may hear, or people who I meet. These triggers help me to innerstand that there is still work that I have to do when it comes to my healing. I have come a long way, but the journey has only begun. I have to continue to face my demons and work through the pain.

 We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Jim Rohn

Oh boy! This one is a difficult one to talk about. Regrets are the most difficult memories to deal with; I wish I could have been more disciplined in many areas of my life, especially when it comes to my sexual relationships. What I have come to terms with is that because of the trauma I experienced at such a vulnerable age, my actions were formed from the pain, but now that I know better, I will do better.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. Maya Angelou

What I have become, and all that I have accomplished has not come without many changes; during my metamorphosis, there were some ugly times, as well as times when I was dormant emotionally, spiritually, and physically. When I finally broke out of my cocoon, life was different, and the world felt different.

I can’t believe what you say, because I see what you do. James Baldwin

Actions have always spoken louder than words, and I have learned to sit back and observe people. I will listen to them because it is a part of work, but people don’t seem to realize that their bodies and their energy do the majority of the talking. If you listen with your entire self, you learn so much more.

You must train your intuition – you must trust the small voice inside you, which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide. Ingrid Bergman

I never ignore my intuition; I trust that still small voice to guide me and direct me through a world that is filled with noise and confusion. Take from this article what works for you, and begin to live a life that allows you to smile brighter, love harder, and live fully!