W’at about us; Real stories of abuse untold

BY SIMONE J. SMITH

“Simone, can you help us? Can you help me help these ladies find hope again? Help them not have regrets about what they have done so far, but just to have faith and believe that someone, somehow will receive their story and be able to move into a better space.” Palmonia Gordon

My heart lept when I received this email; it was a really odd feeling. For some reason, my body had reacted to this plea, and it was upon learning more about the story that I understood why. I had a chance to speak with Palmonia Gordon, a woman who has led the charge to take back the stories of abuse that were shared by a group of women that she became closely associated with. It is important that we understand Palmonia’s story to get a better sense as to why she had reached out to me.

Even though you can tell that Palmonia is a strong, vivacious woman, when she speaks of her story, you can hear her pain. She told me about her childhood sexual abuse that occurred while she was living in Jamaica. She was the only young woman living in a home filled with men. She recalls how much she hated her brother when she was growing up and why, “When I was about 9 or 10 years old, my brother came in and saw this older man on top of me. He didn’t do anything about it or say anything about it.”  She talks about her many painful experiences living with her stepmother’s nephews; it was only after having her daughter did she realize the importance of telling her story. It was important that she educated her daughter to ensure that her daughter did not have to deal with the pain that she had been feeling her whole life.

Palmonia had a chance to tell her story when her friend Nakisha Geddes contacted her about writing an article for the magazine that she wrote for. She decided to gather a group of women from different cultures to also share their stories of abuse; the story ran in the winter of 2018 and seemed to strike a chord with the editors of the magazine. They proposed an idea to the women; they thought it would be a great idea to do a documentary featuring the stories of the women in the story.

A promotional trailer was put together and was released in March 2019. Upon the release of the trailer, the women were given a contract to sign regarding the use of their stories in the documentary. Upon seeing the contract, a few of the women involved became instantly concerned; they were wary of how the content was being presented. When the trailer was shot, the women were not put at ease, nor given the resources needed to deal with the emotional rollercoaster that many of the women faced after sharing their stories; for some of them, it was their first time, and this can be a very difficult thing to do.

The situation began to derail after this. The cast members found out that they had done a preview without letting them know. They found out details about the release one-week before the preview, and naturally, the night of the event, feelings were raw and unresolved. Another disturbing fact for the cast members was the fact that many of them had not signed the contract, which would have allowed the producers to go ahead and use their stories. Unfortunately, the producers of this documentary had their thoughts on how things were going to go, and these women, who had bravely told their stories, were now having second thoughts about exposing themselves to the world. One of the cast member’s children threatened her saying that if this documentary were aired, they would never speak with her again. She did not know how to explain to her children that she did not have control over her story anymore. Another cast member became suicidal because she also felt like she had lost control of her narrative.

I thought it was important to share this story for a few reasons; one of the main reasons is that we have to protect the stories of women who have suffered childhood sexual assault, or abuse of any kind. This story brings to light the importance of appropriate communication between members of the community and those who want to be a part of a person’s story. Mind you, there are two sides to every story, and I would love to know what the producers have done with the footage for this documentary. The women have heard nothing and now sit raw with emotion, and replete with unanswered questions. As a global community, we have to do better.