7 ways to survive the loneliness pandemic

BY RALPH BRYANT

During the Christmas season, I wrote about the myth of the high rate of suicide during the holidays. However, the concern is more real during the second week of February, what mental health experts call the Valentine’s Day Blues.  However, by taking a few extra steps you can better equip yourself to be prepared for the depression and anxiety that may come.

According to the Pew Research Center, three in ten adults are single – amongst black people that number rises to 47%.  This is worsened by what Harvard University Magazine recently called “The Loneliness Pandemic,” which notes a national survey by the Henry J. Kaiser Foundation, stating that 61% of Americans report feeling lonely. This creates a real fear that suicides and self-harm rates could be higher than normal this year.

Instead of wallowing in your isolation and sadness, here are a few tips to make this season a little easier to deal with

Avoid Social Media
For people prone to anxiety, social media can be perilous on any given day. That anxiety can be turbo during the Valentine’s Day season, given the abundant expressions of love that would be expected.

Find A Galentine Or Palentine
Galentine’s Day was created as a fictional idea by Leslie Knope, on the show Parks and Recreation, to celebrate the connection of her friendships on February 13^th, the day before Valentine’s Day.  However, there is no reason why it couldn’t be celebrated on the actual day, especially if you have a large group of friends that you know are single. You could schedule a zoom meeting, or in person if your city’s pandemic plan allows, as a way to turn the idea from love of a partner to love of friendship.

Talk To Someone
If you are in therapy, be open and honest with your feelings around Valentine’s Day season. Your therapist can provide a specific roadmap to help your cope with your anxiety during this time. If you do not have an active therapist, each province has specific mental health resources that can be helpful – but they are also take time to get on the list to access resources

Avoid Triggers
If you are in recovery of any form, it is possible that the search for a Valentine’s Day love lead to feeling inadequate. If not careful, this can lead to relapses and mistakes in judgment.  Drugs and alcohol will not make those feelings of loneliness better, in fact it will probably exacerbate those difficult feelings.

Be Your Own Valentine
Hopefully, you were able to turn Valentine’s Day into a self-care day. While you might not have be able to take yourself out to a fancy restaurant, you could have: prepared your favourite meal (or supported local businesses by ordering from your favourite restaurant), bought your favourite bottle of wine, watched your favourite movie at home and enjoyed the pleasure of your most important relationship – the one you have with yourself.

Throw A Singles Party
If you happen to have a group of single friends, gather them together to watch a movie or schedule a game night on an app like Kahoot. Gathering together could help all of your friends feel a little less lonely.

Find A Cuddle Buddy
There will be plenty of people like you who, feeling alone and lonely, will be flocking to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and all the other apps, hoping to make love connection, whether it be for the short or long-term. There is no shame in giving into these feelings – as long as you are doing it in a way that you and your potential partner are safe and comfortable.

Finding love can be just as beautiful as the lack of love can be destructive when it is not in your life.  It is not wrong to desire love, as long as you’re not doing anything harmful to get it.

Hopefully, with some of these steps you can focus ultimately on the only love that truly matters: self-love.