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“Finding a partner after 40: A Conversation with Black Folks.” A movement built on love

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BY SIMONE J. SMITH

“Loneliness is leading factor in depression, suicide amongst Black men. How do we find partnership and love, when we are in a society where disposability and ghosting people on dating apps is the norm?” Black father, divorced, Toronto

Modern life often comes with demanding schedules, making it challenging to find time for socializing and building relationships. Balancing work, personal life, and social activities is difficult, and even though in 2023 we have a prevalence of dating apps and online platforms, some individuals find it challenging to navigate the virtual dating landscape. From what I heard, it can be overwhelming to choose from numerous profiles and initiate meaningful connections. A 2021 study by Eharmony found that a woman’s desirability online peaks at 21, but, at 26, women have more online pursuers than men whereas, at 48, men have twice as many online pursuers as women.

Some individuals may have unrealistic expectations, influenced by social media, movies, or other external factors. This often leads to disappointment and frustration when reality doesn’t match these idealized visions. In an article written by Susan L Edelman (Psychiatrist and Associate Professor at Stanford University), she identified that because the world is the way it is, women start getting concerned about their desirability once they reach a certain age. To be frank, they feel the burden of this pressure much more than men, and they worry more about their chances of marrying once they pass over certain age thresholds.

Finding a partner after the age of 40 can be challenging for anyone. Cultural norms and societal expectations can impact dating dynamics, and individuals may feel pressure to conform to certain standards, leading to difficulties in expressing their authentic selves.

The process of dating can be quite difficult and scary, and discussions about dating between men and women can be sensitive and trigger various emotions due to the complex nature of relationships, societal expectations, and individual experiences. People may hold diverse perspectives, and topics related to dating can touch on personal, cultural, and social aspects that are often deeply ingrained.

Brandon Hay, Founder of Black Daddies Club decided that it was time to navigate these discussions thoughtfully, and approach them with empathy, respect, and an open mind.

His scintillating idea was to put on an event called “Finding a Partner After 40: A Conversation with Black Folks.” This panel discussion event was held at Evergreen Brick Works, 550 Bayview Ave, in Toronto, on Saturday, November 25th, 2023.

The Black Daddies Club curated this event to celebrate their 16th year anniversary. The event was designed as an education forum for people to engage and was open to the public. The invite was open to people who identified as: Black, racialized and non-Black, people who were in relationships, people who were single, people above 40 and people under the age of 40. The Black Daddies Club is a Toronto based grassroots organization that focuses on co-creating spaces for: Black fathers, Black men and the Black community in Toronto.

The moderated panel discussion event featured: Black therapists, Black sexual educators, Black Academics and every day Black folks talking about their various experiences around dating and finding a partner after the age of 40. The panelists and moderators for this event were:

Panelists:

  • Tamari Kitossa | Professor – Brock University | Toronto, CA
  • Tomika Long | Founder of Zee-Zee’s World | Toronto, CA
  • Natasha Lawrence | Community Health Worker at WHIWH CHC | Toronto, CA
  • Micheal Lambie | Design Expert & Entrepreneur | Toronto, CA
  • Millie Boella | Co-Founder of Decolonizing Love | Toronto, CA
  • Antonio J. Wheeler Jr. | Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor | Chicago, IL (Was unable to make it due to the holidays)
  • Sean Mauricette | Laying Foundations Together Inc. (Founder & Director) | Toronto, CA
  • Mara Clarke | The Law Office of Mara Clarke | (Owner & Operator) | Toronto, CA
  • A. Wade | Author/ Director/ | Toronto, CA
  • Adex Lava | Artist/ writer/ Curator | Montreal, QC

I was excited to be called in as one of the moderators alongside Mawuli Chai (Social Entrepreneur | Toronto, CA). Navigating this discussion was not an easy task. Mawuli and I had to take the time to understand the different experiences and emotions tied to dating. We did our best to be empathetic and considerate of the panelist, and audience’s perspectives. It was about recognizing and respecting the diversity of experiences within the dating realm, and taking in different cultures, backgrounds, and personal histories that shape people’s views on relationships.

One thing that I learned in moderating this event is that you have to be mindful of the language you use to avoid perpetuating stereotypes, or unintentionally causing discomfort. Using inclusive and respectful language can contribute to a more positive and constructive conversation. It was imperative to foster an environment where people felt comfortable expressing their thoughts without fear of judgment. Mawuli and I encouraged open dialogue, and of course stayed aware of the potential for sensitive topics.

It was a successful event, with some tense moments, and understandably so. I had a moment with Brandon Hay, and he expressed his gratitude. “We had over 200 people that attended the event throughout the night, and we wouldn’t have been able to do this event without your support and presence.

Thank you to the event partners, panelists, BDC volunteers, the audience who came out and much love to the Evergreen Brick Works and AV team, the audience who attended had nothing but great things about the venue and the overall production of the event.”

This is the genesis of something compelling, and I look forward to what Brandon Hay, and the team at Black Daddies Club curates next.

We, as humans are guaranteed certain things in life: stressors, taxes, bills and death are the first thoughts that pop to mind. It is not uncommon that many people find a hard time dealing with these daily life stressors, and at times will find themselves losing control over their lives. Simone Jennifer Smith’s great passion is using the gifts that have been given to her, to help educate her clients on how to live meaningful lives. The Hear to Help Team consists of powerfully motivated individuals, who like Simone, see that there is a need in this world; a need for real connection. As the founder and Director of Hear 2 Help, Simone leads a team that goes out into the community day to day, servicing families with their educational, legal and mental health needs.Her dedication shows in her Toronto Caribbean newspaper articles, and in her role as a host on the TCN TV Network.

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Jennifer Slay

    January 3, 2024 at 5:20 am

    I really enjoyed learning about this initiative . Thank you for sharing. I would love to learn more about other panels and events so that I can attend and learn/relearn. Thanks again!

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Forgetting isn’t just something to be annoyed about, it’s a smart way to survive

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Photo credit - Press Foto

BY KHADIJA KARIM

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name, or where you left your phone and thought, “Why can’t I remember anything?” Forgetting might feel frustrating, but it turns out that forgetting things can actually be good for you. Experts believe forgetting might be an important part of human survival and could even have benefits.

You probably think that remembering everything would be better, right? If you remembered every tiny detail, like what you had for breakfast three weeks ago, or the colour of every car you saw today, you would be overwhelmed. Our brains are constantly receiving information, and if we didn’t forget some of it, we wouldn’t be able to focus on what really matters at that time.

Forgetting helps you clear out information you don’t need, and it helps your brain remember the most useful memories. Think about how hard it would be to focus on important things if your mind was filled with random thoughts. Forgetting helps you stay focused and keeps your mind from getting lost.

So, why would evolution make us forget things? Early humans had to deal with dangerous environments that changed quickly. They needed to remember things that helped them survive, like where to find food, or how to avoid predators. They didn’t need to remember every small detail, like what happened last week. Forgetting information, they didn’t need allowed them to make quick decisions based on what was most important at that moment in time.

For example, if you remember a recent storm, you might make sure to stay inside or find shelter. If you remembered every storm you’d ever seen, it would be harder to make decisions about the present. Forgetting irrelevant details helps you stay on your feet and helps you react faster to new situations. This ability to forget likely helped early humans survive and make better decisions in their everyday lives.

Next time you forget something, don’t be too hard on yourself! Forgetting is a natural part of how our brains work and can actually help you stay focused on the important things. It might seem annoying at times, but it’s helping you make better decisions. Forgetting isn’t just something to be annoyed about, it’s a smart way to survive in a world that’s always changing!

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Blink equity dives deep into the gap between people of colour and decision-making roles in Canadian law firms

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Photo Credit: AI Image

BY ADRIAN REECE

Representation in the workforce has been a topic of conversation for years, particularly in positions of influence, where people can shift laws and create fair policies for all races. Representation in the legal system is an even more talked about subject, with many Black men being subjected to racism in courts and not being given fair sentencing by judges.

The fear of Black men entering the system is something that plagues mothers and fathers as they watch their children grow up.

Blink Equity, a company led by Pako Tshiamala, has created an audit called the Blink Score. This audit targets law firms and seeks to identify specific practices reflecting racial diversity among them in Toronto. A score is given based on a few key performance indicators. These KPIs include hiring practices, retention of diverse talent, and racial representation at every level.

The Blink Score project aims to analyze law firms in Ontario with more than 50 lawyers. The Blink Score is a measurement tool that holds law firms accountable for their representation. Firms will be ranked, and the information will be made public for anyone to access.

This process is ambitious and seeks to give Canadian citizens a glimpse into how many people are represented across the legal field. While more and more people have access to higher education, there is still a gap between obtaining that higher education and working in a setting where change can be made. The corporate world, at its highest points, is almost always one race across the board, and very rarely do people of colour get into their ranks. They are made out to be an example of how anyone from a particular race can achieve success. However, this is the exception, not the rule. Nepotism plays a role in societal success; connections are a factor, and loyalty to race, even if people are acquainted.

People of colour comprise 16% of the total lawyers across the province. Positions at all levels range from 6% to 27%. These numbers display the racial disparity among law practitioners in positions of influence. Becoming a lawyer is undoubtedly a huge accomplishment. Still, when entering the workforce with other seasoned professionals, your academic accolades become second to your professional achievements and your position in the company.

What do these rankings ultimately mean? A potential for DEI-inclusive practices, perhaps? That isn’t something that someone would want in this kind of profession. This kind of audit also opens law firms up to intense criticism from people who put merit above all other aspects of professional advancement. On the other hand, there is a potential for firms to receive clientele based on their blink score, with higher ones having the chance to bring in more race-based clients who can help that law firm grow.

It is only the beginning, and changes will undoubtedly be made in the legal field as Blink Equity continues to dive deep into the gap between people of colour and decision-making roles in these law firms. This audit has the power to shift the power scale, and place people of colour in higher positions. There are hierarchies in any profession, and while every Lawyer is qualified to do what they are trained to do, it is no shock that some are considerably better than others at their jobs. The ones who know how to use this audit to their advantage will rise above the others and create a representative image for themselves among their population.

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“The Pfizer Papers!” Documentation of worldwide genocide

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BY SIMONE J. SMITH

We are living in a world where promises of health and safety came packaged in a tiny vial, one injection was promoted by powerful governments, supported by respected institutions, and championed by legacy media worldwide. Sadly, beneath the surface, a darker truth emerged.

Reports from around the globe began to tell a different story—one that was not covered in the news cycles or press conferences. Families torn apart by unexpected losses, communities impacted in ways that few could have foreseen, and millions questioning what they had been told to believe.

Those who dared to question were silenced or dismissed (the Toronto Caribbean Newspaper being one of those sources). “Trust the science,” we were told. “It’s for the greater good.” As time went on, the truth became impossible to ignore.

Now, I bring more news to light—information that demands your attention and scrutiny. The time to passively listen has passed; this is the moment to understand what’s really at stake.

I reviewed an interview with Naomi Wolf, journalist and CEO of Daily Clout, which detailed the serious vaccine-related injuries that Pfizer and the FDA knew of by early 2021, but tried to hide from the public. I was introduced to “The Pfizer Papers: Pfizer’s Crimes Against Humanity.” What I learned is that Pfizer knew about the inadequacies of its COVID-19 vaccine trials and the vaccine’s many serious adverse effects, and so did the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA promoted the vaccines anyway — and later tried to hide the data from the public.

To produce “The Pfizer Papers,” Naomi, and Daily Clout Chief Operations Officer Amy Kelly convened thousands of volunteer scientists and doctors to analyze Pfizer data and supplementary data from other public reporting systems to capture the full scope of the vaccines’ effects. They obtained the data from the Public Health and Medical Professionals for Transparency, a group of more than 30 medical professionals and scientists who sued the FDA in 2021 and forced the agency to release the data, after the FDA refused to comply with a Freedom of Information Act request.

It was then that the federal court ordered the agency to release 450,000 internal documents pertaining to the licensing of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine. The data release was significantly and the documents so highly technical and scientific that according to Naomi, “No journalist could have the bandwidth to go through them all.”

The “Pfizer Papers” analysts found over 42,000 case reports detailing 158,893 adverse events reported to Pfizer in the first three months The centerpiece of “The Pfizer Papers” is the effect that the vaccine had on human reproduction. The papers reveal that Pfizer knew early on that the shots were causing menstrual issues. The company reported to the FDA that 72% of the recorded adverse events were in women. Of those, about 16% involved reproductive disorders and functions. In the clinical trials, thousands of women experienced: daily bleeding, hemorrhaging, and passing of tissue, and many other women reported that their menstrual cycle stopped completely.

Pfizer was aware that lipid nanoparticles from the shots accumulated in the ovaries and crossed the placental barrier, compromising the placenta and keeping nutrients from the baby in utero. According to the data, babies had to be delivered early, and women were hemorrhaging in childbirth.

Let us take us to another part of the world, where research has been done on other pharmaceutical companies. A group of Argentine scientists identified 55 chemical elements — not listed on package inserts — in the: Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, CanSino, Sinopharm and Sputnik V COVID-19 vaccines (according to a study published last week in the International Journal of Vaccine Theory, Practice, and Research).

The samples also contained 11 of the 15 rare earth elements (they are heavier, silvery metals often used in manufacturing). These chemical elements, which include lanthanum, cerium and gadolinium, are lesser known to the general public than heavy metals, but have been shown to be highly toxic. By the end of 2023, global researchers had identified 24 undeclared chemical elements in the COVID-19 vaccine formulas.

Vaccines often include excipients — additives used as preservatives, adjuvants, stabilizers, or for other purposes. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), substances used in the manufacture of a vaccine, but not listed in the contents of the final product should be listed somewhere in the package insert. Why is this important? Well, researchers argue it is because excipients can include allergens and other “hidden dangers” for vaccine recipients.

In one lot of the AstraZeneca vaccine, researchers identified 15 chemical elements, of which 14 were undeclared. In the other lot, they detected 21 elements of which 20 were undeclared. In the CanSino vial, they identified 22 elements, of which 20 were undeclared.

The three Pfizer vials contained 19, 16 and 21-23 undeclared elements respectively. The Moderna vials contained 21 and between 16-29 undeclared elements. The Sinopharm vials contained between 17-23 undeclared elements and the Sputnik V contained between 19-25 undetected elements.

“All of the heavy metals detected are linked to toxic effects on human health,” the researchers wrote. Although the metals occurred in different frequencies, many were present across multiple samples.

I am not going to go any further with this; I think you get the picture. We have been sold wolf cookies, very dangerous ones. These pharmaceutical companies must be held accountable. I am proud of anyone who has gone after them for retribution, and have received it. Regardless, in many ways, there is no repayment for a healthy life.

REFERENCES:

https://ijvtpr.com/index.php/IJVTPR/article/view/111

https://news.bloomberglaw.com/health-law-and-business/why-a-judge-ordered-fda-to-release-covid-19-vaccine-data-pronto

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defender_category/toxic-exposures/

Pfizer’s ‘Crimes Against Humanity’ — and Legacy Media’s Failure to Report on Them

55 Undeclared Chemical Elements — Including Heavy Metals — Found in COVID Vaccines

 

Public Health and Medical Professionals for Transparency

FDA Should Need Only ‘12 Weeks’ to Release Pfizer Data, Not 75 Years, Plaintiff Calculates

Judge Gives FDA 8 Months, Not 75 Years, to Produce Pfizer Safety Data

Most Studies Show COVID Vaccine Affects Menstrual Cycles, BMJ Review Finds

Report 38: Women Have Two and a Half Times Higher Risk of Adverse Events Than Men. Risk to Female Reproductive Functions Is Higher Still.

 

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