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Forgiven Not Forgotten

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BY PRIYA ALI

Buddha said, “Being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Forgiveness is often withheld as people feel that in forgiving we are accepting or condoning the perceived wrongdoing or words uttered.  In many instances, those we are denying of forgiveness are not even aware that we are still bearing ill feelings or simply undisturbed by the situation and going about their daily business.

This leaves us bearing the negativity of anger, sadness, disappointment and pain within ourselves.  It leaves us disempowered and controlled by negative emotion and the burden of carrying the grudge. Forgiveness actually frees us from this burden and allows for more positive emotions and experience to enter our lives.  When you go to the shopping mall parking lot and there is a car parked in one of the spaces you cannot park there. Similarly, when we hold negative emotion in our being, we have no space for positive emotion.  

Like many of you, I have had unsavory acts committed against me or hateful and harsh words said to me. The old cliché is to forgive and forget, but often the forgetting part is challenging. This is because the experience is a part of our memory and so from time to time something will trigger our memories of these situations.   

Throughout the years of serving as a life coach, I have invited my clients to forgive and not to worry about forgetting. eOften times our mind, body and spirit will resist forgetting. Being that we are programmed that the two go hand in hand, we feel we are unable to forgive because we are unable to forget. We also choose to remember because we don’t want a repeat offence and wish to protect ourselves in the future. By taking the forgetting out of the equation, it gives us permission to let go of the anger and negative emotions without leaving us vulnerable in the future.

Almost every one of us has one person in common that we have trouble forgiving…ourselves.  Self -forgiveness is not only one of the biggest challenges people face but it rarely crosses our minds that we require and deserve to forgive ourselves for things. Just as we would do when we forgive someone else, we need to verbally forgive ourselves for whatever perceived crime we committed.  

An easy way to do this is to create a list of all the things you feel you have done wrong.  Go in front of a mirror or just imagine yourself looking down on you and speaking.  Proceed to verbally forgive “you” for each item on your list, the way you would if you were speaking to someone else.  Remember to have the same level of compassion for yourself and you would for another person.

One of the lines we use in my household is, “it’s not ok, but I forgive you.” This lets the other person know their words and actions were not acceptable to you but that you forgive them. You can now go ahead and forgive and not forget.

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Spirituality

“Tha Bloodcl@t Work.” Let your valuable transformation begin!

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Photo Credit: cottonbro studio

BY AKUA GARCIA

Happy Scorpio season star family. I pray you are well as we transition to another season of cosmic alignment. The days are beginning to get darker; the clocks will fall back ushering shorter days and longer nights. Many people are impacted by the changes surrounding us. The onset of seasonal depression begins as we have a decrease in vitamin D. We are not outdoors moving our bodies as much as we tend to stay indoors a bit more. The cosmos supports this darker time, let’s look deeper into Scorpio season.

Scorpio season begins October 23rd to November 22nd. Scorpio is a water sign, representing the deeper, darker aspects of the divine feminine energy. Governed by both Mars and Pluto, Scorpio is the sign of transformation by way of death and rebirth.  This Scorpio season we have an eclipse on October 28th, making the energy extra potent for transformation. Scorpio looks at our deeper emotions, our feelings that are often repressed under the surface of our smile. Scorpio is a sign of mystery, power, intuition, spirituality, sexuality as well as money. This upcoming eclipse season will call us to reflect on our values as it corresponds with the Scorpio traits. It’s a time of reviewing where we give our power to begin reclaiming.

Scorpio season is also a great season for shadow work. Shadow work is a psychological insight into the darker aspects of our personality. Coined by Carl Jung, renowned psychiatrist, shadow work allows us to explore the darker sides of ourselves.  Our fears, traumatic experiences, the parts of ourselves that we deny, repress or carry shame around, resides in our shadows. However, beneath what we have buried we tend to find our light. When we release all the heavy emotions and experiences of our past, it makes room for all the things we have denied ourselves under the notion of not being lovable or enough.

The eclipse will illuminate our values and self-worth. It is the last eclipse of the Taurus/Scorpio axis that started about a year and a half ago. It is also a full moon eclipse, signaling closure, endings of a cycle. Our traumatic experiences often have us questioning our self-worth. We are often left emotionally scarred, afraid to trust others and most importantly ourselves. Unresolved emotions take a toll on our self-esteem, mental and physical health. The things we repress show up overtime in our triggers.  Each time we are triggered our nervous system remembers how it feels during the time of the original event.  We often react the same way we have been conditioned to; we repress it.

This Scorpio season I encourage you to sit with your darker side of your personality.  Our personality is formed by our personal reality.  We have to get real with ourselves and tell ourselves the whole truth. It’s ok to hurt, it’s ok not to be ok, but to deny your emotions, how you truly feel is a form of self-denial. Our triggers are gateways to our glimmers of more light and love. Our shadows are mostly childhood fears that continue to manifest in different ways as we grow older. They impact our relationship with ourselves and show up in triggering forms in our relationships with others.

Scorpio season helps face our shadows and take our power back. We can no longer hide, play small, or allow shame to keep us hostage in the past. This is the nature of the work that I do. I use Shadow work astrology to help the collective: unpack their own shadows, face their fears and reclaim their lives on their terms.

I have assisted over 100 people in overcoming traumatic childhood experiences.  Some of my clients were at the point of not wanting to live anymore to now leading wholesome, healthy, aligned lives. We can tell a new story and live a new life, but we must be willing to venture into our darkness to reclaim our light. I call my work “Tha Bloodcl@t Work.” I recognize traveling through our inner darkness is no easy feat, but to be able to reclaim our light, our power, our love for self, is priceless.

This Scorpio season comes with the eclipse and Halloween, don’t let your fears continue to spook you out of your blessings.  Use the support of the cosmos to call your power back.  Let your valuable transformation begin!

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Spirituality

This eclipse season i challenge you to tell a new story

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Photo by Sebastian Voortman

BY AKUA GARCIA

Happy Libra season cosmic family!  I pray you are all well, falling back into balance with the fall energy. Nature provides us with a beautiful masterpiece as the leaves change colours then begin to fall away.  As the saying goes “Fall is about to show us how beautiful it can be to let go.”

However, I have noticed change and letting go are very difficult for some to do.  Our minds tend to hold on to stories, narratives from the past that might have once comforted or protected us. Holding onto these stories over time, we begin to internalize then identify with these narratives. To release the story, can almost feel like releasing the parts of ourselves that have comforted and protected us. However, holding on to these stories can keep us stuck in our past, blocking the blessings of the present and recreating a memorized future. We must ask ourselves if we are truly committed to our growth or are we comfortable reliving our past experiences that we perceive as safe. This eclipse season I challenge you to tell a new story.

Eclipse season happens twice a year. Our last eclipse series was back in April/May of this year. Mars was the ruling planet as the eclipses took place in the signs of Aries and Scorpio respectively. These eclipses highlighted the themes of self-identity, looking at our interior motives, desires, and ambitions.  It also brought to the surface the areas of intimacy we may struggle with, especially in our: spirituality, sexuality, and finances.

The past eclipse phase gave us a six-month assignment to dive deeper into these themes in correlation to how they impact how we see ourselves in relation to these themes. These themes are extremely personal. This is where we often carry secrets and shame that lead us to hide who we truly are. The shame is often a result of others projecting their fears and issues with shame onto others. Internalizing these fears creates a blockage to expressing who we truly are. We must ask ourselves how much of our personal power are we giving away to others based on their projected fears? How does this impact how you perceive yourself?

Now that we are coming to an end of this six-month assignment, Libra season is asking us to balance the scales. Balance the past wisdom with your present reality, balancing what serves us and what we need to let go, balancing our own needs versus that of others, it’s time to fall back in alignment with the most authentic expression of you.

The first eclipse happening October 14th, is in the sign of Libra, the final eclipse for the year will be October 28th, in the sign of Taurus, both signs ruled by Venus. For the next six months we will be tasked with telling a new story about who we are. Now that life has aligned us to confront these hidden, fear/shame ridden parts of ourselves, how do we bring value to our journey that leads us to begin to embody this new story of who we are. Venus is the planet of love, beauty, values, partnership, and material possessions. It speaks to what we attract, the value we place on ourselves including our resources.

The eclipse in Libra is calling us to recreate a new story by reclaiming our journey that brought us here. Timelines from the past may present themselves during this transit for us to perhaps take a new perspective using the wisdom we have gained from past experiences. We are no longer the older versions of ourselves, we have new insight, we have overcome so much.  We have new tools to reclaim the wisdom of our past, and to also re-create a new way forward that aligns with who we are now and meets our needs to sustain where we are heading. We may struggle with change, but on the other side is a fresh start, a beautiful unfolding to a new beginning.

Eclipses tend to be viewed as emotional resets, spiritual clean slates. To start clean, we will have to clean up then let go. Just like the leaves of autumn, the eclipse season is about to show us just how beautiful it can be to let things go.

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Spirituality

Fall is about to show us how beautiful letting go can be

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Photo by Matt

BY AKUA GARCIA

Happy fall season star family!  We have officially said goodbye to summer, hope it was good to you. Now that we have switched seasons, we may notice our energy levels also fluctuating during this time as we realign to what the season brings.

Fall also brings with it the onset of Libra season. Libra is the sign symbolized by the scales, reminding us that life is a balancing act. The first day of fall we experience an equal amount of sunlight and darkness. We often strive for equality when trying to balance things in our lives, however I have found balance is more about harmony rather than equality.

Libra is ruled by the planet Venus, the planet: of love, values and resources.  Libra is the sign of relationships, partnerships and justice. It calls us to look within the dynamics of our relationships. With Venus highlighting our values, just leaving retrograde, we may feel more inclined to review the value base in our current relationships. We can often step into relationships based on aesthetics, or physical attraction. Libra also fancies aesthetics and beauty, however when the aesthetics change or fade away, we will be left with what really keeps the relationship together.

Building a value-based foundation for our relationships is key for building strong relationships. Our values tell us what we prioritize, they help us direct our energy, time and resources. When our values do not align, it makes it extremely difficult to balance how we show up in our relationships.

Life is relational. From the moment we are born, we are in contact with someone else. We learn a lot about values in childhood from our parents, caregivers, teachers, peers and environment. As we get older, we hold onto the values that resonate the most with us, then begin to internalize these values as our own. Venus was retrograde, calling us to review the intentions behind our relationships.  As we have entered this fall season, we may need to let go, or let old value systems fall away that no longer serve us.

We might have grown up in a home where expressing our emotions wasn’t valued as much as hard work. We may find now in our current relationship dynamics we may not know how to advocate for our emotional needs, instead work harder at proving our value to others. This dynamic will lead down a spiral of people pleasing, often feeling unfulfilled. Coming back to what we truly value for ourselves, then working to express and embody said values will help attract others with those similar values.

When we are working with similar values in our personal relationships, or business partnerships, it allows us to build a foundation that everyone can prioritize. Having similar values cultivates a space for emotional safety making way for everyone to show up as their full authentic selves. It is only in authentic connections we can ensure we have the capacity to not just meet and serve our needs, but those of the ones we value and love.

This fall season I challenge you to review the intentions of your relationships. Our relationships start with ourselves, how we love ourselves, how we value ourselves is going to directly show up, impacting our relationships. Are there any beliefs, fears, patterns, value systems that you need to let fall away in order to restore balance and harmony in your relationships? Are you looking outside of yourself for emotional validation of your needs? How can you begin to express and embody your values?

The trees don’t worry about the leaves that are falling away, they know they have served their purpose. The leaves transform in colour and expression, then fall away to nurture and sustain the tree. In this transformation season of fall, let go of the anxiety of letting go; know that what falls away is going to sustain your transformation to make room for the relationships that truly value you. Fall is about to show us how beautiful letting go can be.

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