How to manage life transitions

BY DANIEL COLE

Here are a few life inevitable events or occurrences we may all at some point go through or experience; losing a loved one, getting married, having babies, starting a new job, quitting a job, flood, fire outbreak, buying your dream house, divorce, separation, promotion, raising a capital, becoming a father, sickness, foreclosure, asset repossession, going to varsity, infidelity, downsizing to name a few. Life is filled with twists and turn. No one is insulated from the challenges and sometimes the unforeseen circumstances of life.

As we journey through life, we will experience both the “winter days and the summer, the spring and the autumn.” Some seasons in our life will come as planned, while others will arrive unplanned. It is said, “If you cannot change the direction of the wind, adjust yourself.”

It is easy to become cynical, negative or even get bitter about life during a difficult or painful life transition, maybe a foreclosure, death of a loved one, retrenchment; in life, setbacks are inevitable, but misery is always a choice. How do we manage such transitions? Firstly, admit that life is unfair, but God is good. The great Maya Angelou was right, “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.” Stay positive, but don’t be naive to some of life sad realities. Don’t trade your happiness for expectation. When life happens, pick yourself up, don’t be resentful. Learn as much as you can from that situation and move on.

Alexandra Graham Bell once says, “When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” In a few decades of living, I have come to realize that when people succeed, they throw a party, but when people fail, they ponder. Sometimes, the latter is more important than the former.

In challenging times, you will learn more about yourself if you take time to reflect, introspect and take inventory of how you responded to those painful seasons. Embrace each phase of your life with positivity; you are better off standing up to life challenges with a positive mental attitude.

In our bid to numb the pain of difficult seasons, people resolve to the use of alcohol and drugs; no, it only makes it worse. Seek the support of friends and family members, especially those who have been through similar situation or circumstances. It is difficult to see life through the lenses of others unless we’ve been through what they’ve been through; So, reserve your judgement. If you don’t have anything kind or helpful to say, just pray for them. I have learnt very early in life never to give unsolicited advice. Sometimes, what people need is just a listening ear, not a counsellor. Another way to manage a difficult transition is to seek the support of mental health professionals. They can always offer you a guide.

Life is in phases; you will travel through rough roads. Les Brown says, “You will fail your way to success, but hold your head up.” What doesn’t kill you make you stronger. Life will take you through a series of transitions, but don’t give in and don’t give up.

Don’t blame your past. Stop complaining about things you cannot change. Take ownership of your life. Grow in your transition, and don’t lose your zest for life. Through thick and thin, you will excel, and in hindsight, you will be glad you went through some of the things you went through.

Don’t just go through life circumstances; grow through them. Stay hopeful, remain optimistic, because tough time never last; only tough people do. Whatever current transition you are in right now, be it joy, happiness, growth, fulfillment, or be it, pain, sorrow, or regret, hold your head up. Celebrate your success, but heed the lessons of failure.