Know better, do better; Writing letters that heal

BY GLORIA O’KOYE

For centuries, writing letters played a huge part in people’s lives to remain in touch with family and friends around the world. Depending on how far the distance and what time era you were raised in, the mail may take days to months to get to its destination.

The anticipation of hearing back from your loved ones, the sound of opening up the envelope and unfolding the letter and reading every word that was written by hand. Before social media and messaging apps, phone cards could be a bit pricey, and the time spent on them was limited. Therefore, writing letters was still popular into the early 2000’s until programs like email and MSN messenger-built popularity in the younger generations.

Schools were still teaching children to write letters for school assignments and learning how to write in cursive; years passed by, and the art of letter writing declined gradually as technology continued to develop rapidly. Texting became more popular and that came along with more usage of abbreviations and slang, versus being more formal and use of correct grammar. People started to not have the patience to better their handwriting, nor read others’ work since the typed writing was more convenient and straightforward. With the convenience came some detachment.

I decided to go around and ask individuals with different life experiences and from different generations about their opinion on writing letters. Other than some mentioning that handwriting letters were time-consuming, in general, everyone was on the same page that they missed the genuine and love that is put into the writing.

A father who had been incarcerated for several years shared that when he first came out, he would still buy blank greeting cards to write personalized words for his children. He told me that he had eventually stopped because his children were just sending him digital eCards in return. He still kept all the letters that his family had written to him and said that he wished they hadn’t stopped, even if it was a postcard with their handwriting once in a while. I remembered when I was doing a placement at a community hub, and there was a wife of a war veteran who showed me the love letters her late husband had written to her while overseas. She wanted a typed-up version of the letters to put in a family collage for her grandchildren to keep, even though she wanted to rewrite them personally, but her handwriting was not as clear as she would want it to be.

The FYOU (The Forgiveness Project), a non-profit organization that focuses on restorative justice approaches to support youth and young adults in custody, is looking to start up a letter-writing series called ‘Know Better, Do Better’. The series is based on volunteers from the community writing letters for the population on the inside about lessons that they have learned in life. FYOU has held several communities writing events called ‘Letters That Heal’ which had several guest speakers who had lived experiences being incarcerated. They talked about how meaningful and impactful it is to receive letters from the outside world. You can reach out to them on their Instagram @projectfword to see more of the work they do and also to keep posted for upcoming community initiatives.

I want to leave off with some challenges you can do on your own time, grab some paper, blank greeting cards, postcards, etc. Think of some loved ones you may, or may not have heard for a while, write some personal messages to them and give it to them directly, or put them in their mailbox. Allow this art practice to live on and allow you to feel free and be creative.