Health & Wellness

Why do people wait to change?

“It makes me want to start life over again… and do things differently.”

Photographer: Shoeib Abolhassani

W. Gifford-Jones MD & Diana Gifford-Jones

June 12, 2026

There is something quietly heartbreaking about waiting too long to start living the life you might have had all along.

An 83-year-old reader wrote to me recently. For decades, this person lived with social exclusion, low self-esteem, and fear. Then, just last year, they did something about it. They signed up for modern line dancing at a local community centre. I do not know if it was a decision taken after a lot of soul searching, or if it was a whim, something more frivolous.

The same result, either way. Everything changed.

Some things were evident right away. Others came over time, and they were physical, mental, emotional, and social. Enough for the reader to report, with a sense of regret, “It makes me want to start life over again… and do things differently. Better. With more enjoyment.”

That last line lingers.

It invites the question. Why do people wait? Not everyone does. Hopefully not long-time Gifford-Jones readers, but my suspicion is that a lot of people do. They wait until retirement to travel. They wait until illness to value health. They wait until loneliness becomes noticeably painful before reaching out. They wait for permission to be a little bit different than everyone has come to expect. Well, guess what? That permission is not coming.

Years ago, I heard a story about a young man who did not know what he wanted to do with his life. He asked an older, wiser fellow for advice. The answer was stark. “Go to the beach. Sit there. Look at the ocean, and do not come back until you know.”

The suggestion to go away and think deeply about it sounds absurd in today’s lightening-paced, hyperconnected world, but it’s not that hard to do, in fact. Just put the phone down and shut away any other distractions. Schedule time for focused thinking in blocks of two or three hours. Set up a spot for thinking, someplace not too comfortable, but attractive. Then go there and do your thinking, for as many sessions as it takes. You will figure something out soon enough.

Then you must go for it.

We do not give ourselves the time or the discomfort needed to think clearly about what we want. We fill every quiet moment with noise and distraction, and so the years pass, not in crisis, but in drift.

Research in psychology has long shown that novelty and social connection are powerful medicines. Trying something new. Even something as unassuming as line dancing can stimulate the brain, improve balance and cardiovascular health, and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. It is about stepping outside the box quietly built around us.

At 83, you can still change your life.
At 63, you can still change your life.
At 23, you can still change your life.

The difference is how much time you have left to enjoy it, but if you are at the older end of the spread, you know it is not all about duration. Quality of experience, even if flirting, can last a lifetime, even retroactively.

So, here’s the drill. Take a step. A small one is enough. Sign up for something. Call someone. Go somewhere, and if you truly don’t know what you want? Find your own beach. Sit quietly. Think deeply, and do not get up until you know.

I did just this upon the passing of my father several months ago, and now I’m writing this column. It’s an intensely high-quality weekly experience that I hope will last for a long time.

This column offers opinions on health and wellness, not personal medical advice.

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Written By W. Gifford-Jones MD & Diana Gifford-Jones

Dr. W. Gifford-Jones, MD is a graduate of the University of Toronto and the Harvard Medical School. He trained in general surgery at Strong Memorial Hospital, University of Rochester, Montreal General Hospital, McGill University and in Gynecology at Harvard. His storied medical career began as a general practitioner, ship’s surgeon, and hotel doctor. For more than 40 years, he specialized in gynecology, devoting his practice to the formative issues of women’s health. In 1975, he launched his weekly medical column that has been published by national and local Canadian and U.S. newspapers. Today, the readership remains over seven million. His advice contains a solid dose of common sense and he never sits on the fence with controversial issues. He is the author of nine books including, “The Healthy Barmaid”, his autobiography “You’re Going To Do What?”, “What I Learned as a Medical Journalist”, and “90+ How I Got There!” Many years ago, he was successful in a fight to legalize heroin to help ease the pain of terminal cancer patients. His foundation at that time donated $500,000 to establish the Gifford-Jones Professorship in Pain Control and Palliative Care at the University of Toronto Medical School. At 93 years of age he rappelled from the top of Toronto’s City Hall (30 stories) to raise funds for children with a life-threatening disease through the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Diana Gifford-Jones, the daughter of W. Gifford-Jones, MD, Diana has extensive global experience in health and healthcare policy. Diana is Special Advisor with The Aga Khan University, which operates 2 quaternary care hospitals and numerous secondary hospitals, medical centres, pharmacies, and laboratories in South Asia and Africa. She worked for ten years in the Human Development sectors at the World Bank, including health policy and economics, nutrition, and population health. For over a decade at The Conference Board of Canada, she managed four health-related executive networks, including the Roundtable on Socio-Economic Determinants of Health, the Centre for Chronic Disease Prevention and Management, the Canadian Centre for Environmental Health, and the Centre for Health System Design and Management. Her master’s degree in public policy at Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government included coursework at Harvard Medical School. She is also a graduate of Wellesley College. She has extensive experience with Canadian universities, including at Carleton University, where she was the Executive Director of the Global Academy. She lived and worked in Japan for four years and speaks Japanese fluently. Diana has the designation as a certified Chartered Director from The Directors College, a joint venture of The Conference Board of Canada and McMaster University. She has recently published a book on the natural health philosophy of W. Gifford-Jones, called No Nonsense Health – Naturally!

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